


Coker & Mitchell, Est. 1915

by skypip



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-11-01 13:22:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20815847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skypip/pseuds/skypip
Summary: Pam is back for a visit, but it is not just a social one.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AU after the 27th September episodes. Very loosely based on spoilers for the weeks following.

“What you staring at Callum for?”

Ben and Jay are sitting in the square when they see Callum and Whitney walk out the Vic looking thick as thieves.

“Just weird how they are suddenly best mates is all” Ben replies as if it didn’t bother him.

“What, you would rather she hated him, spat on him in the square every time she saw him?”

“Course not, just…..”

“What, you wanted it to be harder for him? He is a _mess_ Ben, one day he seems fine, throws himself into work, regular employee of the month and other days, I can barely get a word out of him, looks as if he hasn’t slept a wink, messing up the paperwork. Almost buried the wrong person last week….”

Of course Ben doesn’t want to see Callum struggle. If he didn’t care about him, this would all be much easier. He knows he is partly to blame for Callum being a mess. Ben was the only person Callum could talk to about his problems and know would understand what he is going through. It’s not like Stuart could relate to his sexuality crisis and whilst Jay would listen, he is still his boss and Ben’s brother, so he needs to keep a distance from certain topics. So, Ben understands why Callum and Whitney have got close again. Doesn’t mean he has to like it.

Jay continues “and you have made it perfectly clear to him that you are not interested Ben, not even as mates, so you don’t have the right to glare at them across the square just because they are getting on with their lives”.

Ben was about to defend himself, but Jay is right of course. Their second attempt at a date was a disaster, Ben made sure of it. Callum to his credit kept trying but Ben shut him down. When Callum’s Dad confronted his son in the Vic, it was Whitney that stood up for Callum, Ben just stayed silent as Jonno launched wave after wave of vitriol at his son. The support from Whitney gave Callum the courage he needed to stand up for himself, tell his Dad he was Gay, the first time he had said the word out loud. Ben was so proud of Callum that day and wanted to tell him as such but then it would undo all the work of distancing himself from the Highway lad. He just needs to keep reminding himself that he is doing this for Callum, he deserves better than Ben and as much as it seems to be hurting him now, Callum _will_ find himself someone that deserves him.

Ben needs to change the topic of conversation so asks Jay “Did Pam call you? About coming down for a visit in a few weeks?”

Jay frowns “Yeah, got the feeling that it isn’t just a 'checking up on the business' type visit either. Reading between the lines, I think Les is not doing great”

“Yeah, I got that impression too” sighs Ben. Pam and Les have been good to Ben since Paul…..They deserve to be happy in their twilight years but old age catches up with everyone eventually, although, Ben can’t see himself making it to their age the way he is going. “I’m going to catch up with Pam while she is here”

“That’s good bruv, maybe she can talk some sense into you” _about Callum_ is left unsaid.

****

Callum can see Ben glaring at him across the square and it feels like a punch to the gut. He thought they were getting somewhere. He knows he is a mess and Ben had been patient with him but just when things were looking up, Ben slammed the breaks on. He knows he isn’t the most romantic person, he tries but it comes off as goofy half the time but how badly their date went was not through the lack of trying on his part. He was shocked when Lola and Jay turned up but still tried to make the best of it but was getting nothing back. It was as if Ben finally saw what he was getting and didn’t like it. He thought he and Ben understood each other but he was wrong. Maybe it was the thrill of the chase for Ben, maybe Jay was right and once he wasn’t with Whitney anymore, the thrill died. He thought Ben wasn’t like that, still thinks that really but with every interaction they have, Ben makes it clear that he doesn’t want Callum, so if it has got to the point that even seeing him in public elicits a glare, maybe he should finally give up.

Whitney can see the effect Ben’s harsh glare is having on Callum. She has tried to be supportive; Callum has made it clear that he only wants Ben and has shut down any talk of Ben maybe not being right for him, but she thinks Callum is starting to realise that he is chasing a lost cause with that one and needs to move on.

“You still on for a drink later Callum?”

Callum snaps himself out of his Ben related thoughts, he has just finished having lunch with Whit, he knows he is lucky to have her as a friend after everything he put her through. He loves her so much and often wishes things were different, that he could love her the way he is ‘supposed to’ but he has accepted the fact he is gay and needs to let her live her life. Doesn’t mean they can’t be best mates though. “’course, 8 at the Vic?”

Whitney replies quietly “I thought we could maybe go to the Prince Albert……..”

They have had this conversation several times. Whitney wants to find Callum a nice bloke and Callum rebukes the attempts at every turn. But with Ben’s harsh glare fresh in his mind he surprises himself with “yeah, sounds good. You can point out the lads you like and I will avoid them, you have _terrible_ taste in men” he replies cheekily.

Whitney just laughs and hits him affectionally on the arm. Callum can’t help turning back to where Ben and Jay are sitting and isn’t surprised to see Ben is now literally glaring daggers at him.

He just doesn’t get Ben Mitchell, which is heart-breaking, as he was sure Ben gets him.

***

Ben is waiting outside the tube station for Pam, it’s been an odd few weeks. A new family arrived on the square and it took no time at all for them to be at odds with the Mitchells. Ben can admit to the fact it is mainly his fault, but it has been a welcome distraction from his love life, or lack of it.

His mum had mentioned that Whitney and Callum have been in the Prince Albert several times now of an evening and he has no right to be pleased that they always end up leaving together, Whitney’s ‘find Callum a man’ mission failing every time, but he can at least admit to himself that his selfish part is pleased.

He is drawn out of his thoughts when he sees Pam coming through the ticket barrier. It is good to see her. He walks over and gives her a big hug “I told you I would come and get you!”

“Don’t be silly, I can still manage to get on a train you know” Pam replies as she warmly returns the hug. “You look surprisingly well for someone that was shot Ben”

Ben gives her a warm smile “That feels like a lifetime ago” Ben’s mind betrays him and he thinks back to Callum carefully cradling him on the floor, outing himself to the whole Pub in the process .“You know what it’s like on the square, things move on quickly”.

“I do worry about you Ben” Pam says warmly.

“I know” Ben replies. He doesn’t add that she doesn’t need to, as they both would know it would be a lie.

“You still on for dinner tonight?” Ben asks eagerly.

Pam rubs his arm as she replies. “Of course, I need to sort some things at the Funeral Parlour this afternoon, but tonight I’m all yours”

Ben gives a genuine smile “Things are going really well on that front Pam, you have nothing to worry about. Jay is running the place properly” _unlike Billy_ is left unsaid “and Callum is great, really great. He is amazing with the punters” and if his voice catches a touch on Callum, Pam doesn’t seem to notice.

“We try not to call them _punters_ Ben, but thanks” Pam replies but she can’t quite meet his eyes. It unsettles Ben.

“Everything all right?”

“Not exactly, I need to talk to Jay first, sorry Ben. I will tell you about it all later love”

Ben escorts Pam to the Parlour, doesn’t go in as he can’t face seeing Callum right now. Even just seeing Pam brings down his defences and he doesn’t trust himself around Callum when they are lowered.

***

Ben still has an hour before he is due to meet Pam for dinner so decides to have a quick pint in the Vic beforehand. He is in a surprisingly good mood at the thought of having a nice dinner with Pam, even though he could tell something was bothering her.

As soon as he walks though the door, Ben spots Whitney at the bar with a bloke. Good looking bloke too, completely different to Callum, none of that open honestly on his face that Callum sports, looks a little mysterious. He is conventionally attractive and just the sort of bloke you would expect Whitney to be with. Ben wasn’t lying when he said Whitney was lucky to have Callum, you don’t find many blokes like Callum, sweet, caring and although he doesn’t believe it himself, a total hottie, but this guy, he looks like Whitney’s type all right. Ben can’t help himself.

“Blimey Whit, moved on already? Bit of an upgrade from Halfway innit” he says as he gives the guy a leering look. “You certain this one is straight?”

“Excuse me” the guy starts to respond but Whitney puts her hand on his chest. “Leo, don’t. I’ll handle _him_”

Ben just smirks and Whitney looks like she wants to murder him.

“Where do you get off being so _cruel_ Ben!”

“Cruel? I’m just having a laugh Whit, Calm down” Ben chuckles and he can’t understand why she is getting so worked up. It is then he notices she isn’t looking at him, but past him to the table behind. He turns around slowly to see Callum sitting at the table with Jay, he looks really upset.

Ben’s face falls, he really was just having a laugh. He didn’t notice Jay and Callum when he came in.

“Callum, sorry, didn’t see you there, I didn’t mean………” Ben starts as contrite as he can muster.

Callum completely ignores him. Wipes the tears from his eyes with his sleeve. He was obviously already upset before Ben’s little performance. Timing was never Ben’s strong point. Callum turns back to Jay “I’m just going to go home, try and sort some things out”, stuttering on the word _home_ leaving Ben with a very pissed off Jay.

Ben sits down with Jay and holds his hands up “Sorry alright, I didn’t see you two there”

Jay shakes his head “and that makes it OK Ben. I told you Callum was struggling, and you go and compare him to Whit’s new man. And not in a good way”

“I know all right! Just wanted to wind her up is all. I didn’t mean to upset him” and Ben has the decency to look that he means it.

“Well lucky for you that is the least of his problems, he was already upset”. Jay continues to glare at Ben.

“I can see that, why, what’s happened?” Ben asked softly.

“Pam, she is selling the Funeral Parlour. And not as a going concern either. That amount of space plus the flat will fetch a fortune round here and apparently Pam wants the money”

“She didn’t say anything?”

“She wanted to tell me first as it will be me and the lads that are out of a job”

“I’m sorry Jay”

“It’s not me you need to be sorry for is it? I still have the Car Lot and a place to live. Callum loses both his job and his home. So, you deciding to humiliate him in front of the square is the least of his problems right now”

Ben feels terrible. Callum looked so despondent. On top of everything he loses his home and the job he had grown to love. He had even registered for an embalming course apparently. He has gone from the Job, the Flat, the Girl, everything to nothing. Ben knows this latest setback for Callum is not really his fault, but he can’t help but feel responsible for how hard Callum is taking it.

He may not be able to be the man that Callum deserves, his little performance today just reinforces the fact. Given the opportunity to be nice and appreciate that Whit is supporting Callum, and the opportunity to have a dig, he always makes the wrong choice. He is more convinced than ever that he made the right decision to break things off before they got serious but he can do something about this.

He is meeting Pam in half an hour and he will talk her out of it. He must do for Callum’s sake.


	2. Chapter 2

Ben leaves the Vic and starts to make his way towards Walford East to meet Pam. He notices Callum hasn’t quite made it home and is sitting on the bench in the square. He should leave it well alone but as much as he wants to keep his distance, he can’t bear the thought of Callum thinking this was in any way about his looks, that if he looked like Leo, Ben would want him.

Callum notices Ben approaching him and just shakes his head and croaks “Not today Ben, leave me alone, _please_.”

Ben felt that. Ben secretly loved that Callum’s eyes used to always be drawn to him, even before the big reveal. Callum always looked as if it was taking all of his restraint to not just jump Ben there and then. The look in his eyes now, pleading with Ben to just leave him alone, hurt. It was what Ben had wanted after all but now, seeing the hurt and resignation in Callum, it was like a knife to the gut.

“No Callum, I need to explain, say sorry”

Callum looks down “It’s fine Ben, you don’t owe me nothing. Leo is an attractive man, not a crime to point it out is it?”

Ben vigorously shakes his head although Callum still hasn’t looked up to see it “I was just saying it to wind Whitney up. You know I think you're hot. From the moment I first saw you across the Bar in the Vic, I wanted ya”

Wrong thing to say apparently. “Right, so it’s just my personality you don’t like then, cheers for that Ben”

Ben hasn’t got a good response for that without revealing how he really feels and he has left it in the air too long so Callum just huffs. “Yeah, thought so”.

Ben tries to think of a way to salvage the situation “I’m going to talk to Pam, get her to change her mind”

Callum's eyes do shoot up at that and he looks angry now. He points his finger at Ben, the way he does when he has really just had enough “Don’t you dare Ben. That lovely women just wants to spend the last years of her life with her husband, stress free and they need money for that. It is hardly Mrs Coker’s fault that I’m such a screwup is it? I’ll sort something out. Just go and have dinner with her and don’t get involved.”

“She will listen to me Callum” Ben says exasperated.

“That’s what I'm afraid of Ben. Talking her out of something she wants. You’re good at that ain’t ya” It was a low blow but Callum doesn’t seem the littlest bit sorry. “She is Paul’s family Ben” he adds unnecessarily.

That is crossing a line and Ben reacts angrily “You don’t need to remind _me_ of that Callum”

Callum just brushes off Ben’s anger “Just go and have a nice dinner , she told Jay she was really looking forward to it Ben. She is just happy to be in your company. Go and be on your best behavior and send her home happy”.

Ben just stands there for a moment, it was a low blow to bring up Paul but as usual, Callum was right. Callum doesn’t know Pam, not really - apart from being his employer - but even though he is going to lose everything, Callum first thought is Pam’s happiness, not his own. This is why Callum deserves better than him.

Ben isn’t going to get anywhere in this conversation, so he leaves Callum alone and heads to Walford East.

***

Pam is already seated and smiles fondly as Ben enters. “Sorry I’m a bit late Pam”

“Don’t worry love, ordered us a bottle, hope you don’t mind”

“Course not”. Ben smiles and sits down. “So, what’s this I hear about you selling up then?”

Pam grimaces “Talked to Jay then”

“Yeah, thought the business was doing well?”

“It is Ben, but Les and I are not getting any younger and he hasn’t been in the best of health” Ben takes Pam’s hand as she continues “I know Jay runs things well and keeps the stress away from us, but we want to spend the time we have left travelling the world and as with everything in life, that takes money”.

Ben nods in reply

“Not going to try and talk us out of it?” Pam asked surprised.

Callum’s words are still ringing in his ears when he replies “’course not, no. I’m sure you have already given this a lot of thought, if this is what you want, I am all for it”

Pam smiles and appreciates the support. “We have, it was not an easy decision Ben, Coker’s and Sons, well Mitchell and Coker’s now, has been going for over 100 years. We will be sad to see it die of course but….” The fact there aren’t any Coker’s left to take it over is left hanging. Just another casualty of the tragedy of Ben and Paul. More than ever, Ben just wishes he had left Paul alone or kept his mouth shut that fateful night, so Paul would be happily running the family business now.

Pam continues “It was hard telling them; Jay was fine, as I knew he would be. Big Nige surprised me though, he was crying like a baby, but he wasn’t the worst”

Ben knew what was coming but he didn’t interrupt.

“That nice quiet lad, Callum you said wasn’t it?” Ben nods in confirmation “somehow it was worse than Big Nige, he didn’t cry but he just looked so shell-shocked, like I had just told him his life was over.”

“Callum has been going through a few things lately, it’s not your fault Pam, it’s just this, on top of everything else……he doesn’t always cope well with change.”

“You know him well then, Callum?”

“You could say that" Ben answers with a sad smile.

Ben doesn’t elaborate and Pam doesn’t push but Ben isn’t sure it is just a coincidence when she asks next “Enough about the Funeral business, tell me about what you have been up to, apart from getting shot obviously. Any nice men on the go?”

Ben wants to answer no but denying what he and Callum have gone through didn’t seem right “There was a bloke, thought I had found someone I could make a proper go of things with yeah? But it turns out it was not meant to be.”

“Oh, Ben, I’m sorry, you’ll find yourself a goodun eventually”

Ben feels the need to defend Callum, although Pam has no idea it is Callum they are talking about. “He wasn’t a badun Pam, the opposite in fact. Too good for the likes of me”

“You stop that talk right now Ben, you are not a bad person”

Ben gives a sad smile. “That’s what he said an all”

Pam places her other hand over Ben’s and squeezes “Well then, he sounds like a smart guy”

Ben smiles fondly again at the thought of Callum. People think he is an idiot, but they just don’t know him the way Ben does. Seeing the good in people may be naive but it is not stupid. He often gets the wrong end of the stick because he can never see people’s true motivations, most people are not good people. “You wouldn’t believe it when you first meet him but yes, he really is a smart guy.”

Pam continues “and this better not be about Paul either, I miss him every day Ben, but you need to live your life. Move on and learn from your past mistakes.”

Thankfully they are interrupted by Iqra coming to take their order. She gives Ben a little squeeze on the shoulder, gives Pam a sweet smile and stage whispers “not your usual type Ben but at least this one turned up eh?”

Ben just rolls his eyes and laughs at her, not minding the jab at all as it has successfully lightened the mood.

***

Ben and Pam get through the rest of dinner without any further heavy conversations, Pam telling Ben what she and Les have been up to, Ben sticking mainly to stories about Lexi. It’s nice but a seed has been planted in Ben’s mind and he can’t shake it. He waits until after dessert until asking “what if someone was to offer to buy the Parlour as a going concern, keep the funeral business going?”

Pam shakes her head “The land is worth far more than the business Ben. Nobody is going to buy it and keep it going”

“What if I did, buy it I mean”

“Why on earth would you want to do that?”

“Building a little empire aren’t I? Got the Arches and the Car lot. Fancy buying this place off Ian one of these days too”

Pam doesn't buy it "I can understand wanting the land Ben but keeping the business going? Why would you do that?"

He could bring up the fact that it was the plan for him and Paul to run the place but that would be disrespecting his memory. It wasn’t Paul he was thinking about here, it was Callum. The more he thought about it the more he wanted to do it. He wouldn’t tell anyone, only him and Pam would know. He would buy through a holding company, keep his name off the paperwork, instruct them to keep Jay on as manager and let Callum stay in the flat as a tenant. No one would have to know it was him.

“It’s a nice little business, brings in a steady stream of legit income. Never going to be a shortage of dead bodies, even more so in Walford. How much are we talking about here Pam?”

Pam takes a napkin and writes down a figure. Ben’s eyebrows shoot up and says “Wow”. It is far beyond the sort of money Ben could cobble together.

Pam continues “I have already had an offer for this amount Ben, it is prime London land after all, but we can knock 25% off, you are practically family after all, plus all the money saved in fees, as you will be buying it directly from us”

Ben scratches his jaw, he really wants to do this, but it is _such_ a large amount of money. “Can you hold off accepting, just for a week or two while I sort some stuff out?”

“Of course dear, but are you sure about this, it is an awfully big commitment”

Ben again pictures Callum’s distraught face from earlier and nods “Yes. I’m sure” and in that moment, he really means it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This really should have been part of Chapter One but was a bit too eager to post before Monday makes this really AU.  
Thanks for all the love so far!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really stuggled to write angst after the lovely scenes we got this week. I am so proud of Callum and so pleased Ben is finally getting his man. So this is pretty terrible but hopefully sets up the next phase of the story.

Ben is bone tired. A week of selling cars, calling in favours, selling more cars and he is still far short of the cash he needs. Doesn’t even know why he is still bothering really, apparently, Callum has moved on with some ‘hot blond’.

Ben had popped into the Café for lunch and heard Tiff ask Whitney if she was out with Callum last night. On seeing Ben, Whit took great delight in replying, far louder than necessary, that no, Callum had a date with a hot, strapping, blond last night so couldn’t make it. She also mentioned something about a large weapon that Ben quite didn’t catch and was frankly glad he didn't.

So later that night when he can see the lights were still on downstairs in the Funeral Parlour, his curiosity gets the better of him and heads in.

Sure enough, Callum was sitting at his desk, concentrating on some paperwork and didn’t hear Ben enter. Ben took a moment to look over Callum, he either had a very good night last night or a very bad one, he looks _rough_, like he hasn’t slept in weeks.

Ben feels irrationally annoyed, _jealous?_ no annoyed that he is working all the hours to try and get the money together for the Parlour and Callum is off on hot dates. If this is how Callum is dealing with his impending homelessness and unemployment, why should Ben bother to help him? Before he gets himself too worked up, he decides to announce his presence.

“You’re working late” he states with no hint of warmth in his voice.

Callum jumps back in his chair “Ben, didn’t hear you come in” Ben doesn’t reply so Callum stammers “was late in this morning, just making some time up”

“You look like shit, late night was it?” Ben replied curtly.

Callum is confused by the hostile tone of the conversation already but at least Ben is talking to him. “yeah, I know I should have called it a night earlier but once we got goin’”

Ben cuts him off “Not interested in the sordid details Callum”

Callum shakes his head, still confused at the tone Ben taking with him. “Why you bein’ so weird Ben?”

Solemn faced, Ben replies “I’m not”.

Callum gives Ben a hurt look “Yes, you are. I get you don’t want me now, but why come here to make fun of me, when you know how much I like…._ liked_ you?”

Ben is pissed off, Ben usually can’t resist the puppy dog eyes from Callum but he is having none of it tonight, Callum sitting there like butter wouldn’t melt, always making out that Ben is the bad guy.

“Got over it pretty quick didn’t ya? Jay alright with you turning up at work as you please?”

Callum is really confused now. “It was Jay’s fault I was up so late!” Ben looks at him oddly, so he continues “I wanted to skip The Dark World, as it’s a bit rubbish obviously, go straight to the third one but Jay wanted to watch all three films.”

Ben has no idea what Callum is talking about “Jay was with you on your hot date”

“What hot date? The only date I had was with Jay and Chris Hemsworth”

Now Ben might not be up to date to date with his Marvel references, but he at least knows who Chris Hemsworth is. “B_loody Whitney_” Ben mutters under his breath, she knew exactly what she was doing. 

Callum, oblivious, continues rambling “It was just nice to have someone to watch them with, Whitney wasn’t really a Thor fan so I let Jay talk me into it, they are not short films and it was really late when they finished and I slept through my alarm……”

Ben feels stupid. Callum must think he has gone mad, getting worked up over him spending time with Jay. But Callum doesn’t react they way Ben expected, instead he just looks crestfallen.

“I know he’s your brother or whatever Ben, but it’s pretty lonely night after night by myself in the flat. What I have done to you that’s so horrible that you don’t want Jay to hang around with me now?”

Ben closes his eyes, doesn’t want to see Callum’s hurt look anymore. He stands there for a moment, trying to figure out what to say to Callum, but how can he explain both pushing him away _and_ being jealous without giving himself away? It would be so easy to just tell Callum the truth but then Callum would try and talk him around, tell him again what a good person Ben is and Ben isn’t sure he can hold out against the full force of Callum’s earnestness.

Ben had been standing for a while now, eyes closed and he feels a hand tentatilvely rubbing on his arm, Callum had got out of his chair and is now standing on front of Ben, if Ben were to open his eyes he would see the hurt look had replaced by a concerned one. Callum begins gently “Talk to me Ben, what’s going on? You say I look bad but you’re not looking much better”

Ben shakes his head but doesn’t open his eyes “Don’t Callum”

Callum squeezes his arm “Don’t what?”

Ben shakes his head again, voice cracking he replied “Don’t be nice to me when I’ve just been such a twat to you. I can’t deal with it”

Ben really wants to tell Callum how he is spending every god damn minute trying to raise the money he needs to keep Callum around, but he can’t. So instead he eventually opens his eyes and says quietly. “Coming here was a mistake, I’m sorry. I will leave you alone in future” and walks out. He can hear Callum calling after him, but he doesn’t turn around. He knows if he lets himself be drawn back to Callum, it won’t end well for either of them.

***

Ben has successfully avoided Callum for the last few days, but time is running out. Short of someone coming in and buying every single Car on the lot, he is not going to make it. Pam has been very patient, but it is not fair to her to keep her hanging. He should just give up and accept the inevitable.

With Ben on the verge of giving up, the last person he wants to see right now is Stuart Highway but that is who has just walked through the door of the car lot.

“Unless you want to buy a car or ten, Fuck off”.

Stuart looks a bit taken aback at the lack of a quip or the usual cocky arrogance from Ben. Stuart holds his hands up “I just want to talk to you about my Callum.”

“I’ve barely spoken to him in weeks Stuart, so you can back off alright” and Ben just sounds _done_.

“That’s not why I’m here, just the opposite actually, I _want_ you to talk to him”

Ben can’t help being slightly intrigued at this “and why would you want that Stuart?”

“He won’t talk to me, he kicked me and Rainie out of the flat, I’m back with Dot” well that explains Callum’s line about being lonely the other night but Ben doesn’t interrupt “and he listens to you Ben, god knows why, but we both know he does.”

“If you are actually after my help, less of that _Stu_. Why he kick you out then? had enough of the freak show that is you and the crackhead whore eh?”

Stuart doesn’t allow himself to react to the jibe so Ben knows he is actually serious.

“He is talking about leaving Walford, even mention signing back up for the army”

That can’t be right, Bobby had told Ben some of what happened the night Callum had saved him with the train, how Callum had had admitted he still sometimes woke up in the middle of the night due to what he went through in the army. It was quite sweet really, Booby rooting for them, he had become closer to his nephew since the incident, Ben now making more of an effort with him now he knows how much Bobby is struggling. It seems Callum can’t help but being dragged into his family’s drama.

“I don’t know what you expect me to say to him Stuart”

“Just tell him you don’t want him to go and he won’t”

Ben narrows his eyes at Stuart “It’s that simple is it? I say ‘Callum don’t go’ and he won’t. Despite having nowhere to live or a job?”

“_Yes_” and Stuart really seems to believe that that would work “I have never seen Callum so angry with me as when he found out I ruined your date, I have put him through a lot I aint proud of over the years but I have never seen such disappointment from him before, that was why he asked me to leave.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, me calling things off was nothing to do with you.“ a lie really, but it wasn’t just Stuart, all Stuart did was voice Ben’s own fears.

“If you cared about him Ben, you would talk to him”

“I seem to remember you telling me that if I cared about him, I would leave him alone”

“I was wrong, and I am sorry for what it is worth”

Ben can see Stuart is trying but he isn’t ready to make nice after everything Stuart has done to him. “Not worth much actually. Now as I said, if you don’t want to buy a car………..”

Stuart looks despondent as he leaves, if Ben is his last hope he has every right to be, but Stuart was not to know that the little talk had actually done the trick, Ben was now more determined than ever to get Cal to stick around, he doesn’t want to hear in a few months’ time that Callum had been killed in action, Callum was a disaster at the best of times and a warzone was no place for him, even just the kitchen. But Stuart was wrong, it wasn’t as simple as asking him to stay, that would open up a whole new can of worms and they would be back at square one. He will stick to the plan, make sure Callum has a roof over his head and a job, he would have no reason to leave then.

The talk with Stuart had made Ben realise he had been going about this all wrong, trying to scrape together the money the legitimate way. It seemed wrong somehow to do all of this for Cal using money not quite legally obtained, especially as Pam would be the recipient of the cash but desperate times……and Ben needs to play to his strengths. There are far easier ways to get his hands of large amounts of cash very quickly. He was burned with the Panesar brothers as he was careless, underestimated them but if he did things properly this time, planned it out, he can do a quick dodgy job or three and solve all of everyone’s problems in one go, he was a Mitchell after all. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't know much about the Panesar brothers yet so this will probably be very OoC once we know them :)

Ben had been a little reckless over the last few days, straying into areas of London he knows are off limits to the Mitchell’s, no doubt treading on the toes of the established crooks in the area but it is amazing how much cash a few high-end cars can bring in. He sold them on far cheaper than usual just to get rid quickly, but it was enough. He got the money. He instructed his solicitor to transfer the money to Pam and he was now the proud owner of both _Coker & Mitchell Funeral Directors_ and the flat above.

He knows Jay will have got the call by now and although he is doing this in secret, he can’t help but want to see Jay’s reaction to the news _and Callum’s _a little voice says_._

Ben walks into the Funeral Parlour and is only slightly disappointed to find only Jay “Alright?”

“Ben, brilliant news Bruv. Pam has found another buyer for this place, and they are going to keep me on as manager, Callum’s and all the other lad’s jobs are safe too”

Jay is smiling so wide Ben feels a little guilty for not realising that Jay would have missed the place too, despite having the Car Lot to fall back on.

“That’s brilliant Jay, I’m made up for you” Ben giving him one of his rare genuine smiles.

“Callum is over the moon, so relieved. He ain’t got to find somewhere to live now, they have said he can stay in the flat, rent frozen an all”.

Ben smiles “Sound’s like everything has turned out well for once eh?”

Jay smiles back “yeah, it’s just, things are going well for me and Lola and I know we have the Car Lot, but it is nice to have, you know, a…..respectable…job?”

“Oi, you saying I ain’t respectable?” Ben replies with a grin, no heat behind it. “So where is Callum then? Bunking off already? Hope the new owner don’t get wind”

“Ha, no, I gave him the rest of the day off, he has been so stressed recently and when I told him the news I could tell he was gonna cry, so I let him go. He mentioned something about having a celebratory pint in the Vic”

Ben tries to feign disinterest and changes the topic “Know much about the new owner?”

“Nah, some hedge fund or something, completely hands off. As long as they get the money each month, they are going to leave all of the day to day stuff to me”

Ben is pleased his solicitor has successfully covered his tracks. Jay seems none the wiser and Callum is hardly going to ask questions. “I’ll leave you to it, happy for you mate”

Jay smiles and Ben heads out towards the Vic. He can’t help himself; he just wants to see Callum with a happy face, it has been a while.

**

Callum is already on his second pint by the time Ben walks in the door. Today has been such a great day, he is so relieved that he is not homeless and jobless. While everything else isn’t going particularly well for him, half the square still gives him dirty looks for what he did to Whitney and the rest seem to think he is a plain idiot, but it is his home now, he still has people that care about him. Jay and Lola, Mick and Linda, Stuart (although he is still not ready to make up with him yet) and of course his renewed friendship with Whit. He thought Ben was on the list too but since the last conversation in the Parlour, Ben has avoided him at every turn, going as far as crossing the road if they were heading the same way.

So, when Ben walks into the pub and says “Alright?” Callum is a little surprised.

“Ben, hey. Yeah, great actually, you heard the news?”

Ben smiles “Yes Callum, just been to see Jay. It’s great news. So does that mean you’re sticking around then?”

Callum gives him a wide smile “Yeah, means you’ll be seeing plenty more of my ugly mug” but his smile narrows a touch when he remembers that Ben changes direction at a mere glance of him these days. They stand in silence for a moment, it is becoming increasingly awkward so Callum takes encouragement from the fact that it was Ben who came to say hello and that he hadn’t left yet so he tries “You could join me…for a drink…to celebrate I mean?”

Ben has got what he came for, got to see that goofy grin on Callum’s face that he had so missed. He is proud of himself; he did that. All the hard work getting the money together and the risks he took to get it, just seeing Callum like this, happy, smiling, has made it all worth it. He realises he hasn’t answered Callum yet and can see the smile is starting to falter every second Ben leaves him hanging. It would be so easy to say yes, join Callum for a drink but Ben can’t let himself be drawn back to him. The whole point of all this was to make Callum happy and the best way to do that, long term, was for Ben to stay the hell away from him. It kills him, seeing that hopeful look in Callum’s eye. Ben is touched that Callum hasn’t given up on him, he still thinks that Ben is what he wants so Ben hasn’t the heart to be cruel about it again, he needs to let him down as gently as possible:

“Can’t mate, sorry. I have to pick up Lex from school” Its sort of a lie, Lola is doing the school run today but Ben decides there and then that he is going to tag along, to make it not really a lie.

“Another time then?” and Callum gives him such a hopeful look it breaks Ben's heart. Even after he was such a twat to Callum over the last few weeks, he still looks at Ben like no-one else does.

“I’m always busy these days Callum but it was good to see you yeah? I’m glad things worked out” and Ben turns to leave, he doesn’t want to see the disappointed look on Callum’s face, not when today was about seeing that smile so he doesn’t look back.

***

“Go easy halfway yeah?” Mick says it in a friendly tone, but he is well aware that Callum cannot hold his drink at the best of times.

Callum was on pint number four by now. His talk with Ben once again had unsettled him but he lives to fight another day on the square, he will have plenty of time to work on talking Ben around so cheerfully replies “I’m celebrating Mick, not going to lose my job n home now”

“What? Why is this the first I’m hearing about this you plank? You know you always have a bed here”

“You’ve got a lot goin’ on Mick” _Linda, Ollie, Panic attacks. _Callum doesn’t know what is going on with the Carters exactly, but he knows something is up “I didn’t want to impose”

“Don’t be stupid son, you ever in a bind again, you come to me understand?”

Callum smiles “’course Mick, sorry” and Callum goes to find himself a table, a bit worried he might end up falling off the stool if he stays at the bar much longer.

****

“Mind if I join you?”

Callum looks up confused “er sure? Sorry do I know you? I ain’t always good at remembering people’s faces “

“No mate, I’m new to the area, the name is Vinny” and he holds out his hand.

“Callum, Callum Highway but people call me Halfway” and Callum shakes the offered hand.

“Really, you like people calling you that?” Viiny grins

Callum in his drunken state takes quite a while to think it over “hadn't thought about it much but actually nah I don't....... apart from Mick “ and he gestures wildly to where Mick is serving behind the bar, almost knocking the drink from the table “it’s alright from Mick ‘cause he is like my family but…….” and Callum seems to lose his train of thought.

Vinny smiles at him, seems like a nice lad “I’ll call you Callum then, I’m just getting to know the area you know? Me and my brothers have some... business… around here”

Callum accepts the answer easily, he was always good with new people “It’s a nice place really, people are mostly friendly, don’t believe what you read in the news, no one has been shot for like…..” Callum has to think, it seems like forever ago now, cradling Ben on the floor of the Vic “well it’s been ages……”

Vinny smiles “That lad you were talking to earlier, friend of yours, is he?”

Callum scoffs “friend? Nah. Won’t give me the time of day at the moment”

“Why’s that then?”

Callum is not so drunk that he doesn’t realise that he is being questioned for some reason so he changes the topic “Your brothers, what they like then?”

Vinny laughs, “nothing like me, I love him but Jags, my younger brother, is impulsive, never thinks before he acts and Kheerat? He likes to think he is in charge when we all know it’s me really“ and gives Callum a grin.

Now Callum isn’t good with names and faces but he always takes an interest where Ben is concerned, he knows those names. “You’re a Panesar?”

Vinny looks surprised “Yes, you’ve met my brothers then?”

“No, but I know they ain’t on _‘that lads’_ Christmas Card list” and Vinny can see Callum has got his guard up, interesting. “but then you knew that was Ben yeah? Why pretend you didn’t?” and Callum narrows his eyes and tries to give him his most intimidating look he can, which in his current inebriated state just looks like he has something in his eye.

“Come on Calllum, you’re not going to judge me based on my brothers are you? You seem nice and would be good to have a mate round here” and Vinny gives him his best butter wouldn’t melt look.

Callum thinks about it, if everyone judged him because of Stuart, after all the vile things Stuart has done to Mick, Linda, Tina and Ben “Nah, I suppose not” Callum huffs and gives him a small smile.

“So, I feel there is a story there, with Ben?”

This was obviously all the prompting Callum needed to launch into “I just don’t understand him, one minute everything is going well, asking me out and next…….”

“Wait, you’re gay?”

Callum realises he has just blurted it out to a practical stranger that he is gay but what surprises that he really doesn’t mind at this point. It feels like progress.

“Yeah and I know people think Ben ain’t right for me but he gets me you know? And I thought I got him but I have no idea what’s going on with him now…..”

Vinny leans in, clearly interested in the story and Callum continues “and I know the hard man stuff is just an act and he does care about me, but he just won’t talk to me, won’t let me in again….”

Vinny has certainly lucked out here, Callum is in a drunk enough state to lower his guard again and supply some vital information on Ben Mitchell. He feels sorry for Callum really, he really does seem like a nice, genuine lad. Vinny has what he needs so quickly changes the subject away from Ben, as not to arouse suspicion, spending another couple of hours just drinking and chatting with Callum as if they were old friends. At the end of the night, Callum even gives him an awkward hug and thanks him for listening to him ramble on.

He watches Callum stagger down the road, makes sure he makes it to his house and can't help but feel guilty as he rings his brother

“Jags you utter moron, you were barking up the wrong tree with that Lola bird. If you want to get to Ben, it's Callum Highway you want”

***

It had been such a long day, Callum has a stinking hangover that just hasn’t shifted all day, he had drunk far too much last night but it was nice to have someone like Vinny to talk to. He seemed nice.

It was now well past closing time, Jay had long since left for the evening and Callum was just finishing up the last of the day’s paperwork. Jay had obviously forgot to lock up as Callum heard the front door bell chime. He barely looks up from the desk and just shouts “We’re closed sorry, come back tomorrow”

“We ain’t here for a consultation bruv”

Callum looked ups sharply to see three men in balaclavas, each armed with a baseball bat standing at the office entrance. “Get out. We don’t keep any cash here, you are wasting your time, just leave yeah and I won’t say anything” Callum unsuccessfully trying to hide the quiver from his voice.

Callum stands up from behind the desk and tries to stand tall but he could see what was coming. As the men start towards him, he tries not to panic but when the first blow comes to his kneecap, he can’t help but cry out in pain. When the second blow lands on his other kneecap and the third to his arm, he hopes it is finally over but the shortest one of the men takes a huge swing at his ribs and he can't hold out any more, starting to lose consciousness.

Callum hears a distant voice from the back as his eyes start to close.

“Oi moron, not so hard, you were only supposed to scare him yeah? He’s a good lad”

“Well that’s what he gets for having shit taste in blokes ain’t it” the shorter man replies and it is the last thing Callum hears before it all goes black.


	5. Chapter 5

“Keep the change mate!”

Ben staggers out of a taxi on the square, after the seemingly non-stop drama over the last few weeks he decided to hit some bars in town today, flirt a little, drink a lot. Well flirt a lot too. It felt good, didn’t fancy going home with any of them but it was good to just relax and enjoy himself for the day.

Moments after he shuts the door to the Beale’s he hears someone banging on the door. It’s not exactly late, only 10pm, but still too late for unexpected visitors. Ben opens the door and this visitor was unexpected alright.

A very pissed off Whitney Dean is on his doorstep “For God sake Ben, don’t you never answer your damn phone!”

“Was in a bar weren’t I? Was loud” he takes his phone out and is surprised to see 8 missed calls from Jay and 4 from Whitney. If Ben was a bit more sober he would realise that Jay and Whitney frantically trying to get hold of him signals all is not well, but…

“Mr Popular tonight ain’t I? and he can’t help but say it with a leer, suggesting he got up to far more than fliting tonight.

“Jesus Christ Ben, I have no idea what he sees in you”

“Oh, you here about our Callum then? Your little Gay BFF? Bit sad ain’t it Whit? hanging around with your Gay ex-Fiancé all the time, what you two been up to tonight then, painting each-others nails?”

In his inebriated state Ben thinks himself hilarious and laughs at his own little dig at Whitney. It wasn't actually aimed at Callum so that makes it alright in Ben’s head.

Whitney’s face is becoming ever more murderous by the second. She is visibly trying to calm herself down.

Whitney closes her eyes, breathes, tells herself she is here for Callum. “No Ben, I’ve been in A&E all day. With Callum”

It takes a few seconds for what Whit is saying to sink in and suddenly Ben’s face turns serious “Sorry, What? What’s happened, is he alright?”

“No Ben he ain’t. He was attacked at the Funeral Parlour and he is in a bad way.”

Ben starts to panic “He’s not in any danger of……”

Whitney isn’t a cruel person, she shuts that down quickly “No Ben, you think I’d be here wasting my time with you if he was?”

Ben closes his eyes and tries to calm himself down. He is about to ask why no one called him sooner when he looks at his phone and again sees the calls from Jay and Whitney.

“Is Jay…”

“He is fine. Jay is at the hospital with Callum now, he wasn’t there when they broke in, just Callum”

He can’t believe anyone would do this to Callum and he feels so guilty that he was off in town, having a whale of a time while Callum was on his own, hurt “Who found him?”

“I did Ben. We were supposed to be meeting up for Coffee” Whitney giving him a pointed look over the earlier dig about all the time they spend together “and when he didn’t show I was worried……”

“I’m sorry Whit, that must have been…..”

“He was out cold so at least he wasn’t any pain but the state of him Ben” Whitney was getting upset now her anger was subsiding “they really went to town on him. His arm was twisted the way you wouldn’t think it could be, both his legs are a mess, blood everywhere”

Ben feels the urge to comfort her, give her a hug, but he knows she would never accept it from him.

“he is awake now, in a lot of pain but they have him on the good stuff and have mostly put everything back to where it should be. His arm is broken, ribs cracked, both kneecaps shot but he is awake and talking and that is the main thing”

“I need to go and see him, now”

“and what good would you be eh? Look at you, you are a fucking mess, you’re clearly still very drunk, you absolutely reek of booze, not to mention the love bite on your neck. What good are you to him in this state?”

Whit was correct and what right did he have to visit anyhow? It’s not like he is anything to Callum right now. The love bite was just some lad he was dancing with who got a little eager, nothing serious but it was still red and angry, no amount of concealer would cover that up tonight. “Why come and tell me then?”

“I wasn’t to know you would be like this……and because we both know he would want me to Ben. He is probably watching the hospital door right now, waiting for you to swoop in”

Ben looks crestfallen so Whitney takes pity on him again “Look, Jay is with him, go to bed, have a good night’s sleep”

“Fat chance of that happening”

Whitney ignores him “Sleep it off and go up to the hospital tomorrow when you have cleaned yourself up and the sight of you might not make him worse”

Whitney sees herself out and Ben just sits at the dining table. He feels sick, not sure if it’s the booze or the thought of Callum being hurt, lying there until Whitney found him. Not to mention that he can picture Callum waiting expectantly for him to visit all day and him not showing up.

***

Visiting hours were not until late afternoon so it gave Ben plenty of time to recover from his hangover and plenty of time to worry about what he would be walking into at the hospital. He didn’t bother going into work today, knew he wouldn’t be able to concentrate so he offered to take Lexi to school, being a Dad is about the only thing he isn’t screwing up at the moment.

He gets to the hospital 5 minutes before visiting time starts but just sits in the car for 30 minutes, doesn’t want to appear as if he had been fretting all morning. After all, they are barely even friends now right?

He makes his way to the ward; Callum is in a room by himself which from Ben’s experience means he is in a bad way. He loiters at the door and just watches for a moment. Callum is lying with his eyes closed and Ben can’t help but recoil at the state of him. His face isn’t too bad, just a couple of large bruises but the rest of him is a mess. Both legs are in casts as well as one of his arms, the way he can see Callum’s struggling with each breath means his chest hasn’t faired much better.

“You can go in you know” a familiar voice says from behind him “he’s not asleep but I’ve just given him some painkillers so he might not be quite with it”

Ben turns to face Sonia Fowler and goes for a light-hearted “No change there then” but he doesn’t pull it off, his voice cracking as he says it.

Sonia puts her arm on Ben’s shoulder “I was really horrible to him the other week you know? Told him he’d had it too easy with his coming out”

At Ben’s glare Sonia continues “I know! I was angry, about how he treated Whit. But I remember what you were both like that day in the Vic, how he looked at you and you him, I hope he is alright Ben”

“I never got the chance, to say thanks I mean, for, you know, saving me with the Pen” Ben finds it difficult to say thank you and sound sincere, but Sonia can see he is trying.

“I would have done it for anyone Ben, I’m a nurse, don’t get to choose who I save do I?”

“I know but it’s not like you were at work, so thanks”

“Just try not to waste your second chance Ben, we are thinking about renaming this the Mitchell ward as your lot are in here so often”

**

“Still alive then”

The words may be the same but the situation between them couldn’t be more different.

“You came?” and despite the physical state of him, it’s the hope he once again sees in Callum’s eyes that really hurts.

Ben face remains impassive, making sure everything he had been feeling the last few hours donesn't show “You came to visit me, only fair I return the favour”

“Right” Once again Ben has managed to disappoint Callum “Can’t have you owing anyone anything can we Ben, you came so we’re even now yeah? You can see yourself out” Ben doesn’t move so Callum gives him a ugly smile “I would get up but……..” and Ben doesn’t like this from Callum, this is not who Callum is.

Ben sighs and takes a seat next to Callum “Course that’s not why I’m here, I needed to see you, make sure you’re alright”

“Never better”

Ben ignores the sarcastic tone and asks quietly “What happened Cal?”

Callum closes his eyes and calms himself. Ben doesn’t seem to be leaving so he might as well talk to him “Was just some youths, looking for money. When I explained we ain’t got any cash around the office they didn’t take too kindly to it. That’s it”

Ben replies with a sceptical look on his face “Youths?” complete with air quotes.

“Yes Ben ‘Youths’ and Callum uses him one working arm and hand to match the air quote “lucky really, with all the knife stuff around now, it could have been worse”

“Worse! Look at you Callum, two broken legs, broken arm, you ain’t breathing right” Ben shakes his head before adding with a smirk “and no one calls them 'youths' now old man”

“Broken ribs will do that to ya, and it was my kneecaps Ben, not my legs. Just means they will be in a cast for a few weeks”

“Alright Dr Highway, still means you can’t use your arm, bend your legs or walk without crutches for weeks, hardly call that lucky”

“Did you just come here to wind me up?”

“No” Ben shakes his head, puts his hand on Callum’s undamaged arm and lightly rubs it “When I heard you were hurt…….I………..”

Callum immediately stops him “Don’t Ben. Don’t start trying to comfort me now if you are going to go back to ignoring me tomorrow. I can’t deal with it, not again.”

At Ben’s silence Callum takes that as confirmation “You should leave”.

***

Ben doesn’t visit again; he does get regular updates from Jay on how Callum is doing though and considering how nice and easy-going he is normally, Ben is surprised to hear Callum is a lousy patient. Callum apparently seems to think he is unnecessarily taking up space in hospital when real sick people need it more, he might as well just be lying at home instead, so when his breathing finally returns to normal, they agree to let him recover at home, despite it only being a few days since the attack.

Ben is at the arches today, not much going on when his mobile rings and he is alarmed to see Sonia Fowler’s name come up.

Ben fumbles with the phone in his rush to answer it

_“Sonia, what’s wrong, what’s happened?”_

_“He’s what? So soon?”_

_“Tell him he’s a fucking idiot”_

_“No of course don’t really tell him that”_

_“Stall him and I will be there in half an hour, 20 minutes if traffic’s good”_

_“Yes, thanks for phoning me”_

***

“You all packed then Callum?”

Yeah and thanks Sonia, for you know, looking after me, you and all the Doctors and Nurses have been great”

“It’s what we do Callum, now make sure you take the painkillers at regular intervals and don’t go trying to do too much too soon, it’s not easy on crutches when your arm is also broken”

“Yeah, I know. Did you call that Taxi for me?"

Sonia looks guilty and the reason why becomes clear when Ben walks into the room pushing a wheelchair.

Callum gives Sonia a look of utter betrayal and Ben just grins “Your Carriage awaits Sir!”

“What you call ‘im for?” still glaring at Sonia.

Ben replies for her “You are not going to go home in a Taxi Callum Highway, look at the state of ya, you wouldn’t even make it out the door by yourself. You’re an idiot”

Callum still ignoring Ben “There was no one else?”

Sonia sighs “I couldn’t get hold of Mick. Jay is working a Funeral. Whitney n Stuart don’t have a car. Stop being such a baby and let Ben take you home”

Callum just grumbles “I need more friends who can drive” but does lower himself slowly into the wheelchair. Sonia hands over the bag of medication to Ben and explains what Callum needs to take and when, Ben carefully manoeuvres the wheelchair towards the exit.

***

There was an awkward silence in the car as they made their way back to the square, no matter how complicated things had been between them in the past, it was never like this. There also seemed to be a wave of anxiety coming off Callum and the reason why presented itself once they arrived at the flat.

Callum stands at the bottom of his very steep stairs on his pair of crutches and just looks up at the seemingly endless amount of steps before him as if they were Mt. Everest. Ben soon joins him at the bottom of the stairs after locking up the car, fetching Callum’s clothes and medicine from the boot and is now understanding why Callum was so reluctant to have him bring him home. He doesn’t want to appear weak in front of Ben.

Callum has never been afraid to show Ben his emotions, never one to try and appear tough and Ben doesn’t like the change.

Ben tries to make light of it “Ok, this ain’t gonna be pretty but we _are_ going to get you up those stairs, even if it kills me”

Callum is about to argue but Ben can see the moment Callum gives up and realises he needs Ben’s help and just nods back.

“Take it slow yeah Callum, there is no rush, we have as long as we need OK?”

Ben ducks under Callum’s good arm and takes on as much as his weight as he can. Before starting up the stairs Ben says quietly “You sure about this, once you’re up there in the flat, it is going to be a while before you can make it down by yourself. You could stay with us at Ian’s…. have the downstairs room?”

Callum answers just as quietly “No, I just want to be at home Ben”

Ben nods and they start the very slow process of getting a not-very-flexible Callum Highway up what seems like the tallest, narrowest stairs in the world.

By the time they make it into the flat Ben can see Callum is done. His brow is covered in sweat and he is in a lot of pain. Ben gets him seated on the couch and fetches him some water to take some painkillers. Callum doesn’t argue, just takes the pills and says “thanks” giving Ben a small but grateful smile.

With the flat being empty for several days, Ben takes the opportunity to clear up a bit while Callum rests for a moment, he throws out the gone-off food from the fridge and puts the kettle on so he can make them both a hot drink.

By the time he has finished, Callum seems to be returning to normal following the exertion with the stairs. Ben places a small table next to the Sofa on Callum’s side with his good arm, places his drink and the TV remote on the table so they easily in reach and sits on the chair opposite. This is the longest they have spent in each other’s company for weeks but it’s probably the fewest words they have ever spoken during their time together. Ben knows this is his doing but that doesn’t mean that he likes it.

“Stuart coming over to look after you?”

“I ain’t told him”

“That you were coming home?”

“No, that I was attacked. We are still not speaking and he would just wade in and make everything worse like he always does. Him and Rainie have gone to Clacton with Abi for a few days, so there is no need to tell him”

It is now that Ben realises that Callum will be all alone “Not being funny Callum, but you need someone to look after you.”

“I’ll be fine. Got my crutches, I’m sure I can make it to my bed and back to the sofa in one piece. I’ll ask Whit to get me some food in….you don’t need to worry Ben, I ain’t your responsibility”.

Ben just wants the old Callum back, the one that looked at him like he hung the moon. This distant Callum, who is obviously in a great deal of pain physically _still_ not wanting Ben to help him, is too much.

“Look Callum, I’m sorry yeah? I’ve gone about this all wrong, ignoring you. I miss talking to ya.”

Callum looks at him warily but doesn’t respond

“I thought it would be better to just cut all ties, I still think we wouldn’t be good for each other” _I wouldn’t be good for you_ “but not even being your mate Callum, I don’t want it to be like that no more and I’m sorry”

“I’m tired Ben, I just want to go to sleep. Can we talk about this tomorrow?” Callum closes his eyes “Thanks for bringing me home yeah, I really mean it, but I think I just want to be by myself right now”

Callum looks completely shattered, as if the last few days had finally caught up with him. Ben wants to push it but although Callum didn’t actually agree to be friends again, he didn’t outright reject it either so Ben will take it for tonight.

Ben tops up Callum’s water, makes sure his pills are close to hand and that the intercom for the door is within reach and he leaves him alone.

***

Ben is heading out back through the Funeral Parlour just as Jay is returning from the Funeral he was working today.

“Alright Bruv, the patient home then?”

Ben smiles “Yeah, bit grumpy but you have to expect that with how badly he was beaten”

“I know mate, I feel so bad about it, if I hadn’t left him alone….”

“Don’t be stupid Jay, you weren’t to know this would happen”

“I know, but I’m just worried it’s going to shake his confidence you know? All that with his Dad, coming out in the Pub. I know it weren’t easy but he handled it all so well”

Ben smiles fondly “Yeah, I know, I was so proud of him”

Jay shakes his head “That’s why after all that, to be beaten up by a bunch of homophobes….”

“Wait, what!” Ben face turns instantly murderous

“He didn’t tell you?”

“He told me it was ‘youths’ after money, just unlucky that they chose him”

Jay sighs “I’m sure he has his reasons for not telling you Ben, I’m sorry, I thought you knew”

“Clearly not. Tell me what really happened Jay”

“Callum heard one of them talk about him liking blokes before he blacked out, so they clearly knew who he was and knew he was gay. Now its not as if Callum has been out on a Pride float or took out an ad to announce it or anything, so it must be someone from round here, someone that knows him.”

Ben has to sit down; he has a horrible feeling this is all somehow his fault. He is also crushed that Callum, after proudly standing up for who he is, ends up broken and beaten because of it. Ben might not be what Callum needs, but he is happy that he helped Callum realise who he is, proud of the part he played in supporting Callum these few months.

Still the anger rises back to the fore, he is not sure exactly who he is angry at right now, but he needs to do something.

“Bruv, don’t do anything stupid yeah? We have no idea who it was, could be anyone so don’t go looking for fights. If you want to do something, just be there for him OK? I think he might need you” Jay tries to put his hand on Ben’s shoulder, but he shrugs it off and storms out, heading home with a determined look in his eye.

***

Callum is just nodding off when his phone rings. It’s Ben. Callum doesn’t want to deal with the whole Ben thing right now. He is tired, in a lot of pain and just wants to sleep. He has just taken some more painkillers, had to take them dry as he has already knocked over the water Ben had left him.

His phone goes again, and he just quickly rejects the call and closes his eyes for a minute.

Callum’s peace doesn’t last long as the buzzer on the front door intercom sounds. He reaches over and answers it with a groggy “Hello?”

Callum is not at all surprised to hear Ben on the other end “Why aren’t you answering your phone Callum. Buzz me up”

Ben sounds pissed off about something. Callum just wants to sleep “No Ben, leave me alone. I will talk to you tomorrow yeah? Promise.”

Callum’s next bout of peace lasts a whole 5 minutes before he hears a key turn in the lock and someone stomping up the stairs. A very pissed off Ben Mitchell walks into the room, points his finger at Callum and raises his voice “’Just spoke to Jay, ‘Youths’ you said” complete with the air quotes.

Callum had the decency to look guilty for a moment before realising Ben had let himself in “Why have you got a key to _my_ flat Ben!”

“Why did you lie to me Callum?”

It is then Callum notices Ben has an overnight bag with him

“What’s that for?”

Ben looks around the room, sees the smashed glass that previously contained the water he left for Callum on the floor “I’ve been gone less than an hour Callum and look at the state of this place, the state of you”

Callum winces and dismisses him “I just knocked it over with my crutches, I’m clumsy at the best of times Ben, now what is in the bag?”

Ben, still as angry as Callum has ever seen him replies

“My clothes. I’m moving in”


	6. Chapter 6

“My clothes. I’m moving in”

Callum just sits on the sofa speechless. If his legs didn’t hurt so damn much, he would be up in Ben’s face right now telling him with no uncertainty that no, he was not moving in.

A few weeks ago, Callum could see this happening one day, hoped for it even. They would date for a bit, get to know each other properly (although Callum thought he knew Ben pretty well already) and one day, they would take the big step of moving in together, making sure they had somewhere big enough so Lexi could come over and stay.

What he didn’t imagine was Ben deciding to move in without being asked after several weeks where they hadn’t even spoke to one another apart from harsh words.

“Absolutely not Ben”

“I ain’t asking Callum”

Callum can’t believe the gall of the man “You can’t just move into my flat without being asked Ben”

Ben grins at Callum “Well that’s the thing Callum, it ain’t your flat is it?”

Callum does not understand what Ben is getting at here “So? I am the tenant and I’m not allowed to sub-let so you can’t”

“Didn’t have a problem with Stuart and Rainie here did you?”

“That was different! And they weren’t paying me rent so……”

“Wow, you really are a soft touch aren’t you……and, by the way, I won’t be paying rent either”

Callum has had quite enough tonight and just stays stone faced, not rising to Ben’s baiting.

“The thing is Callum, the new owner of the flat and the Parlour, it’s me”

“I’m sorry, what? Are you winding me up?” shaking his head.

Ben strolls over and stands in front of Callum “No, thought it might be a nice little earner long term, people always die Callum”

Callum, still not believing it “Why hasn’t Jay mentioned this”

Unfortunately, this was a bit of flaw in Ben’s plan “He doesn’t know. As well as a nice little earner, I wanted to do something nice for Jay

“….for Jay”

“For Jay, he likes manging this place and the flat comes with it, it’s just a happy coincidence that I am now your landlord too, so this is now my place now.”

Callum was getting angry now “I have rights Ben, I have a contract”

Ben just shrugs “So sue me then? Get your solicitor on it”

“You know I can’t afford that”

Ben knows he has won “Unless you can physically remove me, and right now even I fancy my chances in a fight, I guess you are stuck with me”

Callum puts his head in his hands “This is so messed up. _You_ are so messed up”

Ben, rather unkindly considering the gravity of their conversation at the time replies, “Well, someone once told me everyone’s a bit messed up really”

Callum’s head is now pounding, the anger not helping and he just needs to sleep “I ain’t got the energy to fight with you about this tonight Ben. We will talk about this tomorrow”

“You will barely know I’m here Callum”

“Doubt that”

Ben smiles, as if he hadn’t just barged his way into Callum’s life again and turned it around “Now if you are off to bed, I’ll get myself settled on the sofa”

“What, no Ben. The sofa is too small to sleep on, even for you”

“I thought you didn’t want me here?” Ben replies with a shrug

Callum, as matter of fact as he can muster replies “I don’t, but you obviously will do what you want, you usually do. So if you’re going to stay tonight you ain’t sleeping there, you’ll get a sore back”

Ben is touched that in spite of his obvious anger and wanting Ben to go, he still thinks of him, that is pretty much Callum in a nutshell and why Ben finds it hard to let go. But there is a problem, Ben can’t bring himself to set foot in the spare room, Paul’s room, the thought makes him feel sick. He glances towards the bedroom door and Callum catches on quickly, sometimes Ben forgets how much they know each other already, how much they have shared.

Callum lowers his voice but the anger is still evident “I’ve been staying in the small room Ben, moved in when Stuart and Rainie were here and haven’t bothered to move back. You can sleep in mine and Whit’s room” Ben raises an eyebrow “Don’t worry, I burnt the sheets when Stuart and Rainie left”

Ben sighs “Right, you need anything before we call it a night”

“No”

Callum does. He has desperately needed the bathroom for the last hour but his last aborted attempt to manoeuvre himself unaided into that small bathroom on crutches did not end well, but Ben moving in without permission and him powerless to do anything about it has hurt what little pride Callum has left after the last few days. Callum starts to slowly make his way on the crutches towards the bathroom, wincing at every step due to the pressure the crutches were having on his broken arm.

Ben exasperated by the sight of him struggling says “Just let me help you, please Callum”

Callum ignores him and carries on towards the bathroom.

Ben raises his voice “Stop being so bloody stubborn!”

Callum does turn around at that and gives Ben his best ‘coming from you?’ face

“I know, I know, but we are both going to die of old age ‘ere before you make it to the bog Callum, come on”

Callum is already embarrassed at the situation tonight and thought of needing help just to get to the bathroom is the icing on the cake. But it is only day one and he can practice manoeuvring on his crutches tomorrow while Ben is at work. He can swallow his pride, accepting help this once won’t kill him.

“Fine, but please don’t be a twat about this Ben”

Ben smiles triumphantly “No need to be embarrassed Callum, it ain’t like I haven’t handled it before…....”

It takes Callum moment to catch on “What! No Ben, I don’t need you to hold it, geez! Just get me in the bathroom and get me sat down, I can take care of the rest” embarrassment reaching the tip of his ears.

“Pity” and at Callum’s glare Ben continues “sorry, alright! I am here to help Callum and if that means holding little Callum while you have a wazz I’d do it you know?”

Callum shakes his head

“If you just want me to help you in, that’s fine too” Ben tries to be as sincere as he can “There’s no need to be shy or embarrassed Callum. I honestly just want to help”

Callum nods and allows Ben to guide him into the bathroom and although it’s a bit awkward with Callum having casts on both his legs, he manages to get him into position

“Shout when you’re done” Ben says as he closes the door. Callum only nods despite Ben not being able to see him. Having Ben here will either result in Callum dying of embarrassment or Callum killing Ben. Those are the only two outcomes.

Day 2

Ben wakes up very early to make sure he can make Callum some breakfast before he needs to head to the Car Lot. Ben is very disappointed to find Callum is already in the kitchen, currently trying to fill the kettle with one arm whilst on crutches

“What are you doing?”

Callum jumps at the sudden noise and knocks his mug off the counter where it shatters into pieces. “You can just take that out of my deposit yeah” Callum replies moodily.

Right, Ben thought they ended last night on an alright footing, clearly not. “Just sit-down Callum and I’ll do that”

“I’m not a baby Ben”

“Really, cus you’re certainly acting like one” Ben notices a flicker of something on Callum’s face, hurt, frustration? Ben is not sure, but he is here to make things better not worse.

“Look Callum, you have been out of the hospital less than 24 hours, please let me help you”

Callum doesn’t respond but does hobble over to the table and sits down.

“What you want for breakfast?”

Callum had a petulant ‘not hungry’ primed to go but in truth, he was. He also needed to make sure he ate so he could take his painkillers, they weren’t good on an empty stomach and he was still in a lot of pain. So as much as he didn’t want to give in to Ben he replies quietly “Beans on Toast would be nice, cheers”

Ben grins, happy Callum seems to be letting him help “Right Beans on toast coming up”

**

“How was that?”

“It were Beans on Toast Ben”

“Is this what you were like living with Whitney? If so, I think we really did her a solid in the Park Callum. Grumpy git in the morning ain’t ya”

Callum doesn’t respond, just looks dejected. Ben remembers that Callum hasn’t taken his painkillers yet so wordlessly just moves to the sink, fills up a glass of water and places it down with the painkillers on the table, heading to the bedroom afterwards to get ready for work, giving Callum some space.

By the time Ben is ready for work, he can see the tension has eased in Callum’s face, the painkillers must be kicking in.

Ben heads over to the TV and starts fiddling with the remote.

“What you doing?”

“Putting in my Netflix password, judging by all these boring box sets lying about, you need some excitement. Who still uses DVD’s Callum?”

“I just like having a box alright?”

“Whatever” Ben dismisses “Right, that’s the password saved, you now have a world of Trash TV to watch”

“Thanks”

“eh, don’t thank me, it’s Ian’s password”

Callum rolls his eyes but does give a small smile, at least it is a start. “I’ll pop in at lunchtime Cal, make sure you’re Ok, you need anything call me yeah? or Jay, he is just downstairs remember?”

***

When Bens looks in at lunchtime, Callum is fast asleep on the sofa. Ben doesn’t want to disturb him so he places a bottle of Water and the Sandwich he got for him from _the minute mart_ within reach on the table and leaves him a little note.

> _Eat this or else._
> 
> _Ben _

When Callum wakes up, he is not sure whether to be touched or feel threatened by the note but gives himself a little smile anyway and eats the sandwich.

By the time Ben arrives home in the evening, Callum has had enough. Not being able to move around unaided all day was taking its toll and he was feeling sorry for himself. He had also managed to knock another glass over with his crutches. When Ben walks in, Callum doesn’t acknowledge him so when Ben spies the glass, he just cleans it up without comment and starts making them some dinner.

Dinner is mostly eaten in silence, but Ben gets the feeling Callum isn’t ignoring him on purpose, he is just trying to deal with this situation in his own way, keeping quiet and putting up, even though it’s not what he wants.

Ben doesn’t want a blazing row, but he hates to see Callum bottle everything up and not say anything just to keep the peace. As lovely a girl as Whitney was, she never saw that Callum just went along with everything she wanted. Sleeping with Ben was probably the first thing he had done for himself in a long time and just because he and Callum haven’t worked out, he doesn’t want Callum to retreat back into himself.

“You want to talk about it?”

The ‘it’ could be anything, the attack, Ben moving in, his injuries but Ben wanted just wanted to get it out there that he was receptive to talking.

“No, but thanks though”

Ben clears away the plates after dinner and Callum still seems to be in a funk. “You want to watch something? You should really try Peaky Blinders; reckon you’d love it. I’ve only watched the first few but don’t mind seeing them again, get you caught up?”

“Doesn’t really sound like my type of thing Ben. I’m tired and just want to go to bed” Callum looks towards the bathroom “Can you…..”

“Course” Ben replies softly.

Day 3

Ben makes sure he is up well before Callum today. Puts some coffee on, puts out a bowl of Cereal and some water for Callum’s pills alongside his box of medication. He peeks into the room; he still can’t bring himself to go into that room, but he can see from the doorway that Callum is still fast asleep. Ben writes Callum a little note and heads off to work.

*

Callum sleeps until 11am, he can’t remember the last time he had slept so long, he never quite got out of the army routine of rising early. He really needs the bathroom but the thought of calling Jay just to do that makes him feel useless, so he gets up, grabs his crutches and is determined to do this little thing by himself.

It was bloody difficult, and he was glad no-one was around to see it, but he manages to get himself in and out of the bathroom with only a few swear words and so he triumphantly makes his way to the dining table.

> _The most important meal of the day :)_

Callum smiles at the little note Ben has left him, gets the milk out of the fridge without spilling it, a small victory, eats the cereal and takes his pills, feeling a little better about the world today.

Whitney was on lunch duty today so Callum didn’t see Ben again until later that night.

“Alright?”

If Ben was surprised at the cordial greeting, he didn’t let it show “and how is the patient doing today?”

“better, yeah, cheers”

Ben smiles “You need…..” nodding towards the bathroom.

“Nah, managed it myself today”

“Wow, already potty trained, they grow up so fast”

Callum takes it in good humour as intended, feeling brave he retorts “Shut up and make dinner, I’m starving here”

“Yes sir” Ben grins and gives a salute “Egg and Chips OK?”

Day 4

Today had been a calm day, Callum was getting around much better on the crutches, still in a great deal of pain but the painkillers seemed to mostly be doing the trick. With dinner over and them both sat watching the evening news, Callum keeps looking at Ben as if he wanted to say something.

“Come on then, spit it out”

“I was thinking…….that we could maybe watch a bit of Peaky Blinders?”

“You’ve changed your tune?”

“Well, I watched a couple today, just to prove you wrong…..”

“and you liked it didn’t you”

“Maybe…….”

“Fine”

Ben can’t help but feel vindicated and is definitely more interested in Callum’s reaction to everything than watching the actual episodes.

Day 7

“You sure you will be alright by yourself?”

“Don’t be stupid Ben, you can’t babysit me every night”

“I can cancel, its just drinks in the Vic with Jay”

“Go on, have fun. I will probably just go to bed soon anyhow”

**

When Ben arrives back, the flat was in darkness but the TV was still on and Callum was sleeping soundly on the sofa.

Ben was a little drunk, not wasted but happy drunk, in a place where the alcohol means he is not as afraid to let his guard down as usual.

He walks over to Callum and can’t help but brush the top of his head, he really likes the gel-free hair, he just looks so soft. Callum starts to wake up and Ben doesn’t remove his hand,

“Hey, you didn’t wait up for me did ya”?

Callum smiles at Ben “Course not” but he can’t hide the hint of embarrassment. Ben hasn’t got the willpower tonight to be closed off, so he just smiles back at him “admit it, you’re starting to like having me here”

“ ‘m not admitting to anything” Callum replies voice still full of sleep but with a look of fondness that is all the confirmation Ben needed.

“Right sleepyhead, lets get you off to bed yeah?”

Week 2

Things had been going so well. They had their little routine, breakfast served with a note to set Callum up for the day, Jay, Lola, Whitney and Ben taking turns to check on Callum at lunch and Ben arriving home after work, cooking them dinner and settling in to watch a few episodes of something. Callum had persuaded Ben to start watching Downtown Abbey, in retaliation for Ben making him sit through Peaky Blinders, although they both knew Callum secretly loved it.

On the evenings Ben spent over at the Beale’s with Lexi, Whitney came around, it was nice, but they avoided the B work completely. Callum knew Whitney did not like the fact Ben had moved in, but as Ben had yet to put a foot wrong, she just kept quiet.

As ever with anything involving Ben Mitchell, the peace and quiet doesn’t last long. Callum received a text from Ben to let him know he had to work late tonight, had a late delivery at the arches apparently.

When 11pm came around, Callum started to worry despite struggling to stay awake. So when the front door finally went just before midnight, Callum heaved a sigh of relief.

“That you Ben?” Callum tried to keep the relief out of his voice.

Ben made his way gingerly into the flat, staying in the shadows “Thought you would be in bed by now” Ben answered quietly but stayed at the far end of the room.

“You go off to bed Cal, it’s late, will speak to you in the morning yeah? Will make you a special breakfast for worring ya”

Callum huffs “I weren’t worried” but they both know it’s a lie.

Ben still hasn’t moved into the light. Callum was getting suspicious “Could you get me some water to take my pills Ben?”

Ben knew exactly what Callum was up to “What you’re last slave die of Callum?”

Now Callum definitely knows something is up and in a firm voice demands “Come over here Ben”

Ben sighs, defeated and moves into the light. He has a cut lip, bloody nose and is going to have stinker of a black eye in the morning.

“Jesus, for fuck sake Ben”

Callum doesn’t swear. Ben doesn’t like his tone. “Kiss your mother with that mouth?”

Ben sees the momentary look of hurt on Callum’s face, Ben has never got to the bottom of the deal the elusive Mrs Highway but he knows it probably is not a pleasant story “look, I’m sorry…I didn’t mean…..”

“Sit down” Callum firmly states with no room for argument.

Ben sits while Callum grabs his crutches and heads into his bedroom, he really can move on those things now. He returns moments later with a first aid kit under this arm, sets it down and starts to remove some anti-septic wipes.

“This might sting” not sounding at all sorry about it.

Callum sets to work cleaning up Ben’s face, made all the more difficult with only one working arm. Ben thinks to offer to do it himself but the look on Callum’s face tells him he needs to keep his mouth shut. There have been plenty of times over the last two weeks they have sat in silence, but it was always a companionable one. This was anything but.

Ben couldn’t take the silence anymore.

“Aren’t you going to ask me if I deserved it?” Ben asked quietly.

Callum sighs “What does it matter? It still needs cleaning whether you deserved it or not”

He continues to clean the wound, but Ben is sure Callum is a little gentler now than when he started. When Callum is finished, he closes the first aid kit with a “You’ll live” and leaves Ben sitting at the table. He heads over to the sofa and starts flicking through the channels.

“You’re angry with me, I can tell”

“I ain’t got the right to be angry Ben, whatever you get up to is your business. I ain’t your keeper, I ain’t anything to you”

“Don’t be so dramatic Cal, it doesn’t suit you. You are not nothing, we’re friends now ain’t we?”

Its already late but Ben doesn’t want to go to bed and leave things as they are, things had been going so well and he knows Callum’s anger is because he worries about Ben.

“I know you didn’t ask but yeah, it was my fault. I was annoyed how long the deal was taking and I got a bit mouthy”

“There’s a shock” and Callum at least looked up at him.

“Just took it a bit far and the guy lamped me”.

Callum huffs in frustration “That’s the thing Ben, you always push it that bit too far. I knew what I was getting into with you, know you ain’t a Saint, but you end up worse off Every. Single. Time.” Ben looks down at his feet as Calum continues “Have you ever actually won a fight Ben? Reckon even I have a chance with one arm and two broken legs”

“Look I’m sorry Cal, I just…….most people just do my head in and I can’t seem to stop myself”

“But that’s not you Ben, not really. Look how you’ve been with me, not just the last two weeks but before. No one has looked out for me like that before. Stuart tries but he always ends up making things worse, you didn’t, you helped me so much”

Ben doesn’t want to hear this, it’s already difficult keeping Callum at arms length whilst living with him, especially as the last two weeks have been the most relaxed Ben has been in years, even though he has been waiting on Callum hand and foot.

So Ben is Ben and goes on the attack “Really Callum. Look at the state of you. We haven’t had that talk yet have we? The who did this to you talk? See I think you know more than you are letting on and I think it has something to do with me”

Callum looks nervous “bit full of yourself ain’t ya? Not everything is about you Ben”

“we’ve talked about this before Callum, what a bad liar you are, don’t forget I see you, you haven’t mentioned the attack once in two weeks, not even in passing. If I stray even remotely close to the topic you pull the ‘I’m tired or ‘need my pills’ card.

“Its not a card" Callum replied affronted

“No, you don’t get to deflect again. Who did this Callum?” gesturing to the broken limbs.

“I don’t know Ben” at Ben’s sceptical look Callum deflates “not for sure. I have a pretty good idea but I’m not going to tell you so you can go off on one, not when I’m not certain”

“Just tell me Callum” Ben replies angrily “now”

Callum gets a defiant look on his face so Ben continues “I’ve been very patient Callum, not pushed you but I need to know if someone is out to get me”

“Or what? You will kick me out of the flat, fire me from the Funeral Parlour? Is that why you bought them eh? so you have this power over me, can ruin my life if I say the wrong thing to ya?”

Ben shakes his head, not believing the words coming out of Callum’s mouth.

“Is that why you are staying here Ben, to find out who is after you? Or a guilty conscience maybe? Guilty that my life only seemed to go to shit once I met you?”

Ben can’t hide the hurt this time “Is that what you think of me Callum? That I’m here for my own gain? I cook and clean for ya, put my life on hold to look after you, barely see my daughter, all that for my own benefit?”

Callum has the decency to look ashamed, but Ben isn’t finished, getting more worked up and eyes glassy “and this place, the funeral parlour. Do you know what it took to get the money together for this, how many favours I had to pull in, how close to the line I got with some pretty dodgy people Callum just to keep you here?”

“Ben” Callum tries to get up to go to Ben but in his haste it just causes a ripple of pain clearly evident on his face.

“and after all that Callum, after all that, look at what happened to you. They could have killed ya” and Ben can’t stop a tear from falling now.

Callum manages to stand this time and just envelops Ben in a hug “I’m sorry Ben, I was just mad, just _upset_ that you got hurt again, of course I know you are here to help me. You’ve been brilliant, I look forward to your notes every morning, can’t wait until you get back home in the evening. I’m sorry Ok?”

They both just stand there for a while, neither wanting to be the first to pull away but eventually Ben does. “I know I was a twat about it when I broke it off, shutting you out, I’m not surprised this has been confusing but I do care about you Callum, you know that right?”

“Course I do Ben. You know I do too right?”

“Don’t know why but yeah, guess I do” Ben deflates and tension between them passes now they have partially cleared the air.

Callum couldn’t quite suppress a yawn, it was now heading towards 1am and he was pretty much done for.

“Lets get your tablets Callum and get you off to bed, I think we both could do with a good night’s sleep”

When Callum wakes up in the morning, he sees the usual breakfast, water and pills laid out for him on the table, the note today just says

> _Sorry for last night x_

Callum doesn’t want to get his hopes up, one kiss in a text is a friend thing someone once told him, he supposes it works the same way with actual notes too, but he’ll take it, it’s a start.

Week 3

Callum was up first today, unusual but not surprising as it was a big day for him. When Ben ambles into the kitchen in his glasses and dressing gown, Callum can’t help but stare, he doesn’t think he’ll ever get over the sight of Ben in the mornings. Before the contacts go in and the mask goes up, Ben looks much lighter, like he isn’t about to head off and fight the world the way he normally does.

Ben doesn’t comment on the fact Callum had let his gaze linger a bit too long, today is a big milestone for Callum’s recovery and he wants everything to go well.

“Mornin Cal, you all set?”

Callum nods and gives a small smile. Today was the day the casts on Callum’s legs were finally coming off. If all goes well today Callum will be able to walk again without his crutches. It’s been a long three weeks and he still has some way to go. His arm isn’t healing as fast as the Doctors would like and he is still needs to take strong painkillers regularly through the day but being on two legs again instead of four will give him back a bit of independence.

“You sure you don’t want me to come with you? I can close the car lot for a couple of hours?”

“Don’t be daft Ben, you’ve done enough. Mick is taking me, he is always telling me off for not letting him help more…..”

“If you’re sure?”

“Course, you in later?

Ben nods and heads to the bathroom to get ready for work.

***

Everything went as well as could be expected at the Hospital, Callum is back on two legs and able to walk unaided. Walking is still painful, but it means he has his independence back and can actually walk around the square without a chaperone.

Callum’s first destination is _the minute mart_, not that he hasn’t appreciated Ben’s cooking but he wants to get some nice food in so he can cook for them both tonight, start to repay Ben for everything he has done and to say thanks.

Honey packs the food into a carrier bag for him, making sure he can manage to get it home with one arm and he heads back out to the square. Martin Fowler was heading into the shop at the same time Callum was leaving, resulting in that awkward ‘after you’ dance in the doorway. Callum has never had much to do with Martin, but he always seemed a nice enough bloke, so Callum was a bit taken aback by the ‘fucking idiot’ comment Martin made as he brushed past. Callum turned around surprised, unsure if he had heard correctly but the glare Martin gave him made him turn back around and just leave.

Callum makes it as far as the square gardens before his legs start to tire so he decides to sit on the bench for a while before attempting the remainder of his short walk home. It’s the last throws of Autumn, so it’s a bit cold for his liking but it’s nice to have fresh air after being practically housebound for three weeks.

He can just about see Ben from where he is sitting, he is taking pictures with a camera of some of the cars on the lot, unaware that Callum is watching him. He is going to miss Ben when he moves back out, the little routine they have each day, it almost makes the attack and constant ache in his legs worth it.

Callum’s content mood is soon disturbed by an unwelcome visitor.

“Callum, good to see you up and about mate”

“I ain’t your mate Vinny, just get the hell away from me”

Vinny wasn’t sure if Callum had put it all together, the lack of retaliation from Ben had got him almost believing that Callum hadn’t linked their chat the night before and the attack, but he had apparently underestimated Callum.

“I’m really sorry Callum, you weren’t meant to get hurt, you have to believe……”

“No. Just shut up alright. I don’t want to hear another thing from you….”

“If I could explain…”

“As of right now, I don’t know for sure who attacked me and I want it to stay that way” Vinny looks confused so Callum continues “when I tell Ben I don’t know who did it, I want there to be some truth to it, so you shut up right now and leave”

Callum knows that if he confirms to Ben what he knows Ben already suspects, then all hell would break loose. Ben would retaliate and no doubt end up hurt, he never comes out unscathed. Callum isn’t weak, he isn’t a coward, but letting things lie to keep Ben safe, that’s being the bigger man.

“For what it’s worth, I am sorry Callum, I did want us to be mates you know?”

“Not happening, I don’t want to see you or your brothers face near me or my Ben again or my memory might just get a bit clearer, you understand me?”

Callum was shaken but he seems to have got his point across, he wouldn’t really tell Ben or go to the police, but he needed to make Vinny believe it and it seems to have worked and he leaves Callum alone. Callum glances back over to the car lot, Ben has his back turned so Callum hopes he didn’t see the confrontation.

**

Later that evening, Ben comes through the front door and trudges up the stairs. “It’s just me Cal….what’s that smell?”

Ben walks into the flat and it looks like a disaster zone. There is food packaging everywhere, all sorts of sauces spilt over the kitchen counter and an exasperated looking Callum trying to manage two pans on the stove with his one arm.

“What the hell Callum!”

“You’re early!”

“I thought I’d see how you got on today, great to see those legs of yours again but Jesus Cal, what were you thinking, cooking with one arm?”

Callum looks embarrassed “Was just sick of Egg and Chips is all, thought I would make dinner”

“Well a microwave meal would have done Callum, it looks like your preparing for a banquet here”

Callum looks embarrassed “I just wanted to make something nice for you, to say, er thanks for looking after me while my legs were, y’know, out of action”

Ben is touched, he can see Callum has gone to a lot of effort and despite the mess of the kitchen, it all smells fantastic. He really shouldn’t have gone to all the trouble though; it looks as if Callum has tried to do too much too soon if the pain he can see etched on his forehead is anything to go by.

“and let’s be honest Ben, I’m still a better cook than you, even one one arm”

Ben feigns hurt but smiles and Callum gives him a triumphant grin “give me half an hour yeah? Go and have a shower or something and pretend you ain’t seen this warzone OK?”

**

By the time Ben comes back out Callum has not only managed to clean up, but has also set the table properly complete with a candle. It looks far too romantic for a simple thank-you. Callum had also changed into a nice shirt, but Ben doesn’t comment on it and holds his tongue, Callum wanted to do this to thank him so he will play along. It just coincidence that he put one of his nicer shirts too.

Ben takes a seat and Callum carefully dishes up the food. Gets a couple of beers for them out of the fridge and they both tuck in

“Wow, this is amazing Callum”

Callum tries to play it down “It’s just a bit of French Country Chicken, garlic potatoes, you lived in France for a while yeah? Thought you might like it”

“I do, it’s great, you really shouldn’t have....”

“I wanted to.”

“Even got my favourite beer”

Callum looks pleased and Ben suddenly realises “Wait, you aren’t supposed to be drinking, not with those horse pills you been taking”

“I didn’t take any today, wanted to have a clear head to cook, and have a drink tonight, with you”

Explains why Ben can could clearly see Callum was in pain earlier. He is not sure if he is touched or annoyed at Callum. Well he does know really.

With dinner finished they just sit and chat at the table for a while, neither really wanting to move. Ben gets them a couple more beers from the fridge and asks Callum how his first day back in the big outside world went.

“It was good yeah, bit weird though, saw Martin earlier, gave me a right dirty look. Don’t know what I’ve done to him”

Ben sighs “I think it’s your choice of roommate Cal”

Callum arches his eyebrow “Really? How on earth have you a beef with Martin Fowler Ben? Sold you a dodgy Plum did he? I swear you could get on the bad side of Mother Teresa”

Ben huffs in annoyance “Martin ain’t no Saint Callum. And speaking of run-ins, who was that I saw you talking to in the square earlier?”

Shit, Ben _had_ seen his talk with Vinny, as far as Callum knows, Ben has never set eyes on the third Panesar brother before “It was no-one Ben, nothing to worry about. How about I don’t ask you what’s going on with Martin and you leave this one alone OK?”

Ben doesn’t want to leave it alone, even from afar he could tell the conversation with the mystery man was distressing Callum, but after all the effort he went to tonight and the fact he hasn’t really got the right to demand to know who Callum talks to of a day, he leaves it.

Conversation moves onto to better things and before they know it, it was almost time to call it a night. The conversation had flowed freely all night but Ben could see Callum was holding back, wanting to say something.

“Callum, thanks for tonight, the food, the beer, it’s been really great…..but I get the feeling you’ve been itching to say something. What’s up? The pain a bit much without your pills?”

“No, it’s not that Ben. It’s just……I’m mobile again yeah? There isn’t really a need for you to say here anymore. I don’t need looking after now” and Callum just looked really sad as he says it.

It was the perfect out for Ben, Callum was right, he doesn’t need to stick around now and tonight would be the perfect night to call it a day and get on with his life. He meant it when he told Callum he wanted to be his mate; he would be around if he needs him, but he really should move back out now, leave Callum to live his own life.

The thing is, the last few weeks have been the most relaxed Ben has felt in years. Having someone depend on him is not a thing Ben Mitchell would normally thrive on but with Callum, it just felt right. He knows he is confusing things for Callum, telling him on one hand he just wants to be friends but with his actions, making Callum think there could be more but Ben is selfish and isn’t quite ready to leave the little bubble they have created.

“Are you serious, did you see the state of the Kitchen today? It’s what….. another week until you get the cast off your arm? I think I need to stay. Another week won’t kill me yeah?” Ben then is nervous that he hasn’t misread things and Callum wants him to go “if that’s alright with you of course?” he adds quietly.

Callum gives him a big grin “I suppose I can put up with you for another week” as if it’s the best thing he has ever heard.

**

Ben is lying in bed reflecting on the evening, it was nice. Callum is nice. It’s in the dark at night like this that Ben has too much time to think, to run over every possible scenario in his head. Should he just give in and accept that he wants Callum and Callum wants him? He was so sure that staying apart was the best thing, but he knows his resolve is starting to crumble. He really was an idiot for agreeing to stay for another week.

Ben finally starts to drift off to sleep when he hears something coming from Callum’s room. It sounds like Callum is having a bad dream. Ben resolves to ignore it but it starts to get louder. They have been living together for almost four weeks now and this is the first time he has heard Callum in distress at night. He remembers what Bobby had told him, about Callum sometimes reliving his time in the army, but Callum has never shared this with him so he should stay out of it.

After a few minutes Ben thinks Callum has calmed in his sleep, whatever he was going through was over when he heard Callum cry out “No! I’m Sorry!” and Ben can’t take it anymore. He leaps out of bed and heads straight for Callum. He walks into the room without a thought and gently shakes the distressed lad.

“Callum, Cal, come on, it’s just a nightmare, wake up”

Although Ben was gentle Callum wakes with a fright, taking a moment to understand where he is, sweat dripping from his forehead. “Ben?”

“Yes Cal, it’s just me, you are OK”

Callum takes a few moments to even out his breathing and Ben gets a cloth to wipe his forehead “bad dream?”

“Yeah, I just….I get them sometimes…I’m sorry I woke you”

“Don’t be silly, was it, was it about the army?”

Callum looks confused “….er, yeah, how you know that?”

Ben feels a little guilty “Bobby may have mentioned……”

“Oh”

“I’m sorry, yeah, I don’t mean to be nosey but, it sounded bad?”

“It’s fine. I ain’t had one for a few weeks, think the painkillers were dulling that bit of my brain or something”

Callum didn’t take any pills today so he could have a nice night with Ben. Ben often thinks that no good deed goes unpunished and this just reinforces that. Callum seems to be calmer now so Ben says “I will leave you to get back to sleep, night Cal”

“Wait” and Callum grabs Ben arm when he goes to leave. “It helps when someone is near you know? Its why I think they have only started to come back after Whit left……”

“That is not a good idea Callum”

“I ain’t gonna jump you or anything Ben, just lie with me a bit, please”

Ben reluctantly gets on the bed, leaves a bit of space between himself and Callum and it is not long before he can hear Callum’s breathing even out. Once he knows Callum is settled, Ben himself nods off.

When Ben wakes in the morning, it takes him a moment to realise he is not seeing that garish pink of his usual room and instead sees the horrendous floral Curtains of the spare room. It is then he realises he has Callum’s good arm around his waist, Callum obviously shifting in the night. He should remove it, get up and away before Callum stirs but he doesn’t, he just wants to lie for a few moments more like this. The part of his brain that is soft of a morning tells him he could have this every day if he just let himself, just let Callum in, but it doesn’t take long for the rational side to take over. No, he will see out the week and let Callum get back to his life, one where he will find someone that won’t end up getting him hurt again.

He doesn’t know for sure this is all his fault, but with Callum almost back to normal he is damn well going to find out. He took a quick photo of the mystery man Callum was talking to today and thankfully Callum didn’t seem to notice him do it. He knows this guy is involved somehow in Callum being hurt, he can just sense it.

He is going to find out who it was that attacked Callum and why if it kills him.


	7. Chapter 7

By the time Callum wakes up, Ben has gone but the smell of Ben’s shampoo lingers on the pillow, so Callum knows he didn’t just dream last night. Ben really did stay with him.

Callum looks at the clock, 9:30, Ben will be at work by now. Callum gets ready to face the day, still tired from his unsettled sleep last night and heads into the kitchen.

> _If you are reading this before 11am go back to bed! Will pop in at lunchtime x_

Callum smiles at the note, he could do with a couple of hours more sleep but a thought had nibbled away at him ever since he woke up and he hasn’t got the time to waste sleeping. He fires Ben a quick text to tell him not bother checking in on him at lunch as he is going to go out shopping and that he will see him after work, and he heads out.

**

At the Car Lot, Ben is on the phone

_Tubbs mate, I’ve just sent you a picture, I need you to find out who this bloke is_

_You already know him?_

_There’s three of them, great. Cheers mate._

_No I won’t do anything stupid._

_No really._

Well the identity of the mystery man was far more easily solved than Ben expected, Vinny Panesar. This confirms what Ben had really guessed, they were trying to get to him through Callum. Now steeling Kheerat’s car, he deserved retaliation for that but it’s not as if you can bring up a map of London and see who runs what area, yes he had gone outside of Walford and stepped on their toes but what they did to Callum was unforgivable. A completely disproportionate reaction to what Ben had done, he wasn’t even stealing from them directly.

The question now is what should he do about it? He’s half minded to go over to their warehouse right now and show them exactly what happens when they go after the people he cares about, but there is a voice in his head, suspiciously like Callum’s, that tells him that he should rethink this, that he comes off worse every time.

**

Callum has made it to the DIY store, he is so happy to be back on his feet he barely remembers the cast on his arm until it comes to carrying his purchases home. With a tin of paint in his good arm and brushes shoved in his pockets, he makes it home, just.

Callum knows he should wait another week until his arm is better but part of him feels it will be too late by then. Something is keeping Ben at a distance and if the décor of his room is even a tiny part of that, Callum is going to change it. Lying in bed this morning he decided he was going to paint over the wallpaper and re-arrange the furniture, make sure the room didn't spark any unpleasant memories for Ben.

Callum spreads an old sheet over the bed, manages to get the lid off the paint tin with only minor spillages and sets about painting over the wallpaper he has come to both hate and resent in the room over the last few weeks. He still has hours left until Ben gets home from work, he is sure he can do it.

**

“Alright Son, haven’t seen you much the last few weeks since you shacked up with that Callum lad”

Ben is surprised Phil even remembers Callum’s name but then Phil had surprised him even more in the hospital, calling Callum ‘family’. It’s more effort than he ever put in for Paul. Ben hopes it is a good sign and his Dad will help him with his little problem.

“I ain’t shacked up with no-one but look Dad, I’m going to be honest with you yeah? I’m in trouble and need your help”.

Phil looks at his son with that familiar distain he seems to reserve especially for Ben.

“Getting shot not enough for ya Ben, trying to play the hard man again when we both know you ain’t got it in you”

Ben ignores the hurt he feels at his Dad’s words, he knows it shouldn’t bother him, he once told Callum he was really past caring what his Dad thinks but everyone knows it’s a lie.

“I know alright Dad, but for once I was trying to do something good”

“You going to tell me what it’s about?”

“If I just say it was for Callum and Jay, would that make a difference?”

Phil shakes his head and sighs but Ben thinks he may have got through to him

“That Callum, I like him, bit of a plank but he did save your life. And Jay is family so what do you need…..”

**

Ben makes his way back to the flat, feeling good about his plan. He asked his Dad to deal with the Panesars but make it so it could not be traced back to him. There is no way he could let what they did to Callum go, but it also means if Callum ever asks, he could promise that _he_ wasn’t going to go after them. It’s a lie _but not really_ so he can live with that.

Ben is surprised to see Callum isn’t in front of the TV or cooking them dinner when he gets in. Callum was surprisingly good at cooking with one arm last night and Ben was excited to find out what he was doing for them tonight. Ben still thinks there is nothing wrong with Egg and Chips but its nice to have a variety and Callum seemed to like doing it.

“Cal, you in?”

Ben doesn’t receive a response but can see Callum’s jacket is on the peg so he can’t be far.

Ben takes a look into Callum’s room and can’t believe his eyes. The room is an absolute disaster. Half the walls are painted a nice neutral colour and the rest of the tin of paint seems to be all over the floor and Callum.

“What the hell Callum!”

Callum has his back to Ben and is just sitting on the floor with paint all over his clothes, his cast and in his hair.

Callum replied in a quiet voice “I thought I would redecorate”

Ben, not angry but certainly annoyed replies “With one arm, you’re a bleeding idiot! You couldn’t wait a week to do this, or even ask me to do it? Your bleeding brother is a painter and decorator who barely seems to ever work, you could have asked him”

Callum still hasn’t turned around and is still speaking quietly, too quietly for Ben’s liking “I ain’t speaking to Stu and I wanted to do this myself. Didn’t think it would be that hard but I’ve messed it up, like I mess everything up” with his voice breaking at the end.

Ben walks around so he can see Callum’s face, his hair has flopped down on his forehead and paint is flecked throughout. Ben sits down in front of him and brushes the hair out of his face, despite the dejected look on his face, Callum looks so gorgeous like this, that fluttering feeling in Ben’s stomach makes him want to kiss him right now. “It’s just a bit of paint Callum, I’ll help you finish alright?”

Callum looks up at Ben and Ben can see that he has been crying, his eyes are still red-rimmed

“Come on Cal, not worth getting upset over a bit of spilt paint is it?” and Ben grins at him, trying to lighten to mood.

It does not work. The opposite. Callum looks furious now “I want you to leave Ben”

Ben thinks this is a slight overaction but fine “OK? How about I go and make dinner while you get cleaned up eh?”

“No Ben, I want you to go, move out. I don’t care if it is your flat, either you go or I will. I don’t want to be around you no more”

Ben is both hurt and confused. Everything was fine last night, they had a lovely dinner and despite the nightmare, he thought things were fine between them.

Despite being hurt, Ben doesn’t raise his voice, he stays calm and asks “What’s brought this on eh? I thought we agreed I would say another week yeah? Until your arm is better?”

“No, I want you gone. Tonight” Leaving no room for argument.

Callum stands up, throws the paint brush he had been holding on the floor and heads into the bathroom for a shower, to try and get some of the paint gone.

Ben doesn’t know what to do. Should he start packing? Should he just leave? He won’t stay against Callum’s wishes, not now. Yes, he gave Callum no choice at the start, but he needed looking after, even Callum had eventually acknowledged that. Something has happened between this morning and now, Ben needs to know what it is, so he starts making dinner for them both and hopes Callum has calmed himself down in the shower.

**

When Callum leaves the bathroom with a fresh set of clothes on, he glares at Ben “You’re still here. I guess I need to pack my stuff then”

“Don’t be an idiot. I will go, if that is what you really want. Can’t I at least have my Dinner first?”

Ben knows Callum well enough that no matter how upset he is, he is not unreasonable and was not at all surprised to hear “Fine, but after dinner, I want you gone.”

Callum sits at the table while Ben finishes cooking dinner and the atmosphere couldn’t be more different to last night.

Ben places the food down on the table “If this is my last night, thought I’d make my speciality, Egg and Chips” and Ben gives Callum his best smile despite the tension.

Callum gives a Ben a small smile back but tries to hide it immediately and Ben thinks he is already starting to crack. They eat in silence, but Ben can see Callum is giving him small glances once in while and by the time they have finished eating, Callum doesn’t look angry, just immensely sad.

Callum gets up from the table “I’ll clear up so you can get started with your packing”

Ben grabs his arm to stop him from leaving, eliciting a wince from Callum as it was the injured one “Shit, sorry. Just sit down OK, I’ll do that in a minute, we need to talk”

“There’s no point Ben. It’s not going to change anything”

“I just don’t understand Callum, what have I done? I thought you liked having me here?”

Callum looks more upset now “I do, I love having you here, that’s the problem Ben”

“I don’t understand?”

“I woke up this morning so happy. Every night for the last couple of weeks I kept waiting, waiting for that moment when you would finally come into my room at night. I got it into my head it was because it was Paul’s room and it had too many bad memories”

Ben didn't have the time to dwell on it last night, all he heard was Callum was in distress and wanted to help him “so the paint……”

“I thought if I redecorated, it might make a difference…..I know it’s stupid”

“It’s not stupid” Ben leans over the table and grabs Callum’s hand “It’s you being thoughtful, like you always are”

Callum pulls it way as if he had been burned “It _is_ stupid Ben.” Callum lowers his voice “because it’s not the room is it? I was halfway through painting today and it struck me, you came into the room last night without a thought, stayed with me all night ‘cause I was keeping you awake. It’s not the _room_ Ben, it’s _me_. I think today, covered in bloody Dulux emulsion, I finally realised it and accepted it. You don’t want me no more”

Ben feels himself close to breaking. Seeing Callum so upset over him of all people. “I meant it Callum, when I said I wanted us to be mates? I really like you and god knows why, but you like me too, but we can’t be together Callum. You will just end up hurt”

Callum gives him an incredulous look “Have you have seen the state of me Ben? Staying apart didn’t really work did it?”

Ben goes on the defensive “Yes, look at the state of you Callum, you were badly hurt because of me”

“It weren’t…..”

Ben has had enough of dancing around it “Just stop OK, we both know that this is on me”

Callum shakes his head “Unless you were that short bloke under the mask” _who they both know was Jags _“you didn’t do this. Someone else decided to beat me up. You didn’t do that.”

He may not have done it himself, but he is responsible “Callum, you will find someone who is good for you, a nice bloke”

Callum raising his voice again “I don’t want a nice bloke Ben, I want you! When Whitney was taking me out to meet fella’s I went along on the off chance you might be there. The Albert, the Vic, E20. I was always waiting for you to walk in the door. I weren’t interested in anyone else”

“Callum…..”

“No, let me finish. I loved Whitney yeah? I loved going out with her, staying in with her, watching our ‘crappy box sets’. But someone told me I was living a lie. That’s it was not enough.”

Ben nods but isn’t sure what Callum is getting at.

“These last few weeks, with you, it felt the same as when I was living with Whit. I’ve loved it Ben, so what was the point of all the hurt if I have just swapped Whit for you?”

Ben gives him a confused look “Are you saying you want to get back together with Whitney?”

“No Ben, Jesus, I’m Gay! It was a whole big thing remember”

Ben shakes his head, still not following.

Callum huffs in annoyance, knowing he is not explaining this very well “I want all of it Ben. I want the going out, staying in, cooking for each other, but I also kind of want to have sex again before I’m thirty. I’ve wasted so much time, hiding who I am and with you being around me all the time, I won’t want any other blokes Ben. I will always be watching the door, hoping you will come through it” Callum takes Ben’s hand and squeezes it “so you just need to leave me alone from now on.”

This is it, Callum has laid his cards on the table. Ben either needs to step up or ship out

Ben rubs his face with his free hand “I don’t understand why Callum, I’m bad news”

“Why did you buy this place Ben, really?”

Ben doesn’t comment on the sudden change of topic “I talked to Stuart and he said you were going to leave”

Callum nods “So you talked to Stu about me”

“Yeah. He said you were thinking of joining the Army again”

It’s Callum’s turn to look puzzled “What? I was joking! Just a passing comment of ‘maybe I’ll join up again’ god, Stuart is as dense as you are”

Ben thinks he should at least be honest if this is it “It scared me OK? And then I spoke to Bobby and he told me about the nightmares”

Callum grimaces “Wait, so you spoke to Stuart and Bobby, but didn’t think to maybe, y’now, ask me?”

“It was that simple is it? If I asked you not to go, you wouldn’t have?”

“Yes Ben, Yes it was that simple. You didn’t need to spend 6 figures on buying a bloody funeral parlour. You could have just said you wanted me to stay and I would have” and Ben can see that Callum means it. Maybe Stuart isn’t so dense after all.

Callum stands up and starts pacing “So let me get this straight, you did all of this, just so I wouldn’t leave Walford and you _still_ won’t admit that you want us to be together”

“It’s not that, you know I do, it’s just I don’t see how we could work long term, we are too different Callum. I wouldn’t want to ruin the friendship we have”

“We were never just friends Ben, not really. We have known each other for months; we have already got hot and heavy as you put it” the fact Callum doesn’t even blush anymore surprises Ben “and we have been living together for weeks. What more proof do you need that this can work, that we can work Ben? Should we visit that dodgy psychic that Big Mo knows, ask her just to make sure?”

Ben closes his eyes. He needs to think. Callum is right, it’s not fair to string him along, give him hope. But Ben can’t lose him from his life, not now. Callum was there to listen to his troubles when no one else, including his family, was talking to him, Callum knows the dodgy stuff he gets up to and doesn’t seem to care unless it results in Ben getting hurt. They have practically been a couple for weeks, without the physical aspect obviously. Callum is right, what more proof does he need?

“Alright” Ben sounds defeated

“Alright what?”

“Alright, I will give you and me a proper go”

“Er, don’t sound so thrilled”

Ben sighs “It’s just, I still don’t get why you like me Callum”

Callum takes his hand “and I don’t get why you like me Ben, I’m a disaster at the best of times. Can’t you just accept that I do and I will do the same?”

Ben leans in close to Callum and gives him a chaste kiss on the lips.

Callum smiles, all the tension draining from his face. After weeks and weeks of wanting Ben it looks like now, he finally has him. As nice as the kiss was, Callum wants more. “It’s been months Ben, I think you can do better than that?”

Ben raises his eyebrows at the challenge, takes his hand and leads them into Callum’s bedroom.

***

“So, was it all worth it then?”

“Was alright I suppose” Callum grins and leans over to kiss Ben.

“I bloody hope so, I’ve got bits of paint in places I shouldn’t”

Callum looks bashful “Yeah, sorry about all that earlier, was a bit dramatic for me, sulking in a puddle of paint”

Ben gives him another quick kiss “No Callum, I am the one who should be apologising. We could have done this weeks ago if I had just listened to what I wanted”

Callum runs his fingers through Ben’s hair, he is allowed to do that now

Ben wants to make sure they are on the same page “To be clear Callum, what I want is you”

They lie for a few moments more before Callum says “I was thinking, we could decorate this room properly, for Lexi, if she wanted to come and stay some nights?”

Ben wants to tell Callum to slow down, it’s barely been an hour since they agreed to give this a go but he supposes Callum is right, they have been in each-others orbit for months, even when Callum was going to get married, they still had that pull. He brushes off that remaining doubt that this is too fast

“Think your landlord would like that?”

Callum leans over and kisses Ben on the forehead “Oh, I heard he’s a softie really”

Ben smiles “Oh yeah, you’re just with me for the cheap rent ain’t ya?”

Callum grins back “and your Egg and Chips”.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for everyones support and comments on this fic. I started it before the disaster date and have taken some liberties by referring to some on-screen stuff after that but I hope it seemed semi-coherent. Also I didn't do much with the Panesar stuff as we haven't even met Vinny yet on screen.
> 
> I kept having idea's for other little scenes but I think it's time to draw this one to a close x

The next week wasn’t all that different to the previous week but with one big addition. Callum moved into the main bedroom with Ben and they both set about making up for lost time. Callum had stopped needing the painkillers and Ben made sure Callum slept soundly at night by tiring him out of a night. They woke up together but as Callum wasn’t back at work yet, Ben still left him little notes when he left of a morning for when Callum finally decided to get out of bed.

When the day arrived for Callum’s last remining cast to finally come off, Mick and Whitney took him to the hospital and treated him to a pub lunch afterwards. Ben was invited but as important as Whitney is to Callum, Ben doesn’t think neither he nor Whitney are at the stage that they want to socialise together. They tolerate each other because of Callum, one day they could even be friends again but not yet.

**

Ben was nervous, he thought this was great idea until it came to the actual day. He made sure he booked a day that Callum and Jay would be away at a Funeral. Callum was finally back at work, being back at the place he was attacked doesn’t seem to have spooked him, I suppose if you get used to dealing with dead bodies all day, you can get used to anything. The funeral should be over by now and it was nearly time for them to return.

The workmen had nearly finished when Ben spotted a face he didn’t particularly want to see heading towards him.

“I don’t think we have actually met, the name is Vinny”

Ben looks him over, can see he has a cut lip, a remnant of a black eye and by the way he is holding himself, at least a couple of cracked ribs. It’s nice that his Dad came through for him for once, although he supposes asking Phil to hurt someone isn’t much of an ask.

Ben isn’t in the mood for pleasantries, he is not going to let him spoil today “I know who you are, nice shiner you have there”

Vinny isn’t one to back down “Know anything about that do you?”

Immediately Ben fires back “Know anything about what happened to my boyfriend do you?”

“Boyfriend? You made up then? See last time I spoke to Callum he was crying over his pint of lager about you, shame that he hasn’t seen sense”

Ben gets up in his face, points his finger “Now you listen to me, that will be the one and only time you ever talk to my Callum you understand? You stay away from us. From the square”

“Or what?” Vinny replies with a hint of a challenge.

Ben steps back and smiles “Or that beating you’ve taken will seem like a tickle compared to what comes next”

Vinny scoffs “Really Ben, you think you can take us on?”

Ben takes on a disinterested tone “Nah, not me mate, I’m all for the nights in on the sofa now. Ain’t got the time for the likes of you”

At Vinny’s confused look Ben continues

“but you haven’t met the older Highway yet. Callum’s brother? You think I’ve got issues, that guy? One word from me and you will end up with much more than a black eye. He almost beat me to death and locked me in a car boot just for kissing his brother on the cheek. The maniac shot _himself_ and pinned it on his best mate just ‘cause they had a minor falling out”

Well it wasn’t minor between Mick and Stuart, and Ben likes to think Stuart has mellowed since but that danger side is still there. Ben has no doubt the only thing stopping him being on the receiving end is that Stuart can see that he and Callum do actually care for each other. It’s lucky Stuart hasn't been on the square over the last few weeks because if he saw the damage that had been done to Callum, he would have immediately tied it to Ben and would have done far more than lock him in a car boot.

Ben ends with “What you think he’d do to someone that almost crippled Cal eh?”

Vinny deflates “Look, I’m sorry what happened to Callum, he’s a nice bloke, he didn’t deserve that”.

Ben decides to take a leaf from Callum’s book “I’m just going to stop you there Vinny _mate_. As it stands, I don’t know if it was you and your lot that beat Callum half to death and you don’t know, not really, who beat the crap out of you and your brothers. The way I see it, we can both walk away now and let things be”

Vinny sneers “Backing down from a fight Mitchell?”

Ben puffs himself up “No, just being the bigger man. I don’t care what you do to me, but when you hurt the people I love, things will just get nastier until one of us ends up dead”

Vinny is the smart one of the brothers, Ben can just sense that, he also seems to have a soft spot for Callum, so he can’t be all bad “Fine, I will call a truce if you tell me one thing, was it for him, for Callum? The reason you needed all that cash and muscled in on our gig?”

Ben doesn’t respond but looks like he’s been caught red handed so Vinny takes his silence as confirmation “Fine, you stay out of our way and you won’t hear from us again” and walks off.

Ben is happy its over, getting his Dad to organise a beating would not quite be what Callum would want, but for once, Ben emerges unscathed from a confrontation and had backed down to keep everyone safe. It’s progress, he thinks Callum would be a little proud of him, not that he is ever going to mention this to him.

**

With impeccable timing, Ben can see the hearse coming up the road and his nerves get the better of him again. Its silly really, its just a sign but it means something. Ben will never forget Paul, but he is looking forward, not back, and having Coker & Mitchell staring him in the face every time he comes home, well, he could do without that added pressure on his new relationship.

Callum and Jay get out of the hearse and head over to Ben. Callum greats him with a kiss, it’s amazing how casual he is about it in public these days, they have only been together officially for a couple of weeks and Ben thinks they have come a long way from the park and hiding in the dark.

“Ben, what’s going on, what are they doing?” pointing to the workman.

“It’s a new sign innit? Now the place is ours, thought we’d have a rebrand”

“Yours”

“No, _ours_ Callum, I may have bought it, but it was just as much for you and Jay”

Ben is glad when the workman interrupt as it was about to get far too soppy for his liking in the middle of the street.

“You ready Mr Mitchell?”

Ben nods and the cover over the new sign is dropped

**Mitchell, Highway & Brown, Est. 2019**

“Wow, Ben” Callum just stares wide eyed at the new sign.

“You like it?” Ben asks nervously.

Callum turns to him and Ben can’t believe how happy Callum looks “Of course I like it, that’s my name up there. On a sign. It’s amazing.” Callum places his hands on Ben’s face and kisses him as if he’d just proposed or something.

Ben embarrassed turns to his brother “Jay?”

Jay squints at the sign “Why is my name last Ben?”

Ben rolls his eyes and Callum answers for him “It’s like on telly ain’t it. The most important person comes at the end, like in Dynasty and its ‘and Joan Collins as Alexis'” putting on his best TV announcer voice.

Ben laughs but looks proud and gives Callum a wink, he had been making Callum watch reruns of old Dynasty episodes over the last few weeks, Callum complained at Ben’s choice of TV as usual but soon looked forward to watching them as much as Ben.

Jay chuckles and shakes his head “How no one clocked you were Gay Callum, I’ll never know”

Callum goes over to stand behind Ben and gives him a back hug “Ben knew, that’s all that matters” and kisses him on the back of his head.

Jay smiles at the pair “My god, you two make me sick. Right, back to work, I’m still the manager here” but he gives Ben’s shoulder a squeeze as he passes “but thanks Bro, for all this. Its brilliant, really”

“Callum will be through in a sec, just want to talk to him for a moment”

Callum is still staring up at the sign, wide eyed.

“You alright Cal, this isn’t too much is it?”

Callum snaps himself out of it “What, no Ben, I’m just can’t believe you’ve done so much for me”

“And you like the name, you wouldn’t prefer Highway, Mitchell & Brown?”

“Nah, I’ve always preferred Mitchell-Highway”

Ben teasing says, “Been giving that a lot of thought have you?”

Callum gives him a peck on the cheek and heads back to work, turning around at the last minute to say “Yeah I have, for when we get hitched” without any hint of teasing and heads inside.

Ben stands, rooted to the spot, stunned by Callum’s matter of fact response, as if it was inevitable that they would get married one day. Ben supposes he is not far wrong.

Ben is just about to head off when he sees Pam approaching “I’m so sorry I’m late dear, did I miss the big unveiling?”

Ben gives her a big hug “I wasn’t sure if you would come, wasn’t sure if I did the right thing in inviting you?”

Pam rubs Ben’s arm gently “Course you did, it’s a big thing this, isn’t it?”

Ben gently responds “It’s just, it was in your family for so long…..”

“and if things were different, it still would be and Paul would be running it" and Pam gives him a sad smile "but they’re not Ben. We all need to move forward and I couldn’t be happier for you."

Ben appreciates the support from Pam, he invited her today as he still had that little voice in his head that says he needs permission to move on, be happy. Pam interupts his thoughts with "You could have kept the 1915 date you know, it’s still the same business, I wouldn’t have minded”

Ben gives her a grateful smile “I just wanted to show everyone that this is a fresh start, this weird little family we’ve got with Lola, Lexi, Jay and Callum is the most important thing in my life now. I’m still going to leave the playing dress-up with the stiffs to Jay and Callum, obviously but this is ours you know?”

Pam smiles at him “I do Ben and I am so proud of you. I know I’ve met him before as an employee, but aren’t you going to formally introduce me to your boyfriend?

Ben laughs, takes Pam by the arm and leads her towards the Parlour.

“I would be delighted”


End file.
